This is a place for thinking out loud and sharing ideas. Notes are a window into my process, thoughts, inspiration, and experiments. Published weekly.
This is a place for thinking out loud and sharing ideas. Notes are a window into my process, thoughts, inspiration, and experiments. Published weekly.
My friend, Sara, reshared this post from Adam Grant on LinkedIn yesterday, and it resonated quite a bit. As I progress in different areas of my life, I find that growth is as much about learning as it is about unlearning.
When we enter the world as babies, we are a blank canvas. We soak in everything and can pick up just about anything over time. We are not afraid until we have an experience that scares us. We feel like we can conquer the world until someone tells us otherwise, or we suffer pain, or we hit a roadblock.
For better or worse, these experiences shape us, the way we see ourselves and the world.
Grant refers to unlearning as having the integrity to admit when you were wrong. While I agree, I think it goes deeper. To me, it's having the integrity to question your beliefs about yourself and the world.
I used to set goals, looking for answers on how to make progress. At work and home, I didn't realize how my own beliefs were holding me back. I had to unlearn to move forward.
Some examples that came to mind when I read Grant's post:
I'd imagine what it would like to be fit, but for years, I'd steer clear of exercise, thinking, "I'm the music and art kid. I'm not supposed to be fit. I don't play sports." Then, I went to college and met art kids who went to the gym. It took time to see myself differently, but I've enjoyed exploring fitness ever since. Getting up on stage to compete in powerlifting competitions meant so much to me because it was so far out of what I thought possible for myself. Funny enough, most of my powerlifting crew was in a creative field.
I think back to years of complaining about stomach aches, searching for answers. Meanwhile, I believed that a meal wasn't a meal without meat. Eating a plant-based diet seemed absurd, so I never entertained it. When I learned about the impact of constant meat consumption, I decided to experiment with cooking plant-based proteins like tofu and seitan. I found that I not only enjoy eating plant-based meals but guess what? No stomach aches.
This week, I started reading Grant's book Think Again which dives further into this concept. I'm enjoying it so far and look forward to continue practicing how to unlearn.
Proud to share Barrel's new reel (sound on):
Years ago, the idea of creating a reel seemed complex and arduous. We didn't have any well-versed "animators" on the team so we figured it would take 10x longer than necessary. At one point, we tried hiring a freelancer. However, we ended up pausing the project when they proposed a much longer timeline and heftier budget than expected.
I'm not sure how much time passed, but eventually, we revisited the project with our internal team. I realized that we spent more time over the years talking about how difficult it would be and trying to come up with the perfect approach than just giving it a shot and taking small steps.
I enlisted Nick, Designer - now Senior Designer, to help make it happen. We put our heads together and reviewed references before sketching out what we hoped to create. We set up regular check-ins, and within weeks, Nick had a working file. Before we knew it, we had a final reel.
I'm pretty sure I got goosebumps watching it through for the first time, thinking back on all the time spent questioning ourselves in the years prior.
It's been a while since we launched that reel. With some exciting recent launches, we knew it needed a refresh. For any motion nerds reading this, we built the first reel by treating each client project as a clip in After Effects, making it easy to add, remove, and re-arrange projects in the future.
With a tight system in place, the team was able to jump in and update the reel with confidence. Big props to Nate, Senior Designer, with help from Jennifer, Design Intern, and Eric, Junior Designer.
All of this is a good reminder of three important lessons:
Since relocating to PA from Brooklyn, my fitness routine has been all over the place. Well, that's actually true of the last year or so! While I still make it a point to exercise at least four times per week, I miss training in the gym on a program and competing!
I plan to join a local gym in the next few weeks and figure out my next fitness goal. However, for now, exercising with Peloton videos, repeating workouts from Park Slope Crossfit's Zoom days, and trying out various online programs are enough to keep me going.
No matter what I do, I like to keep in mind these suggestions from Todd Hargrove's book, Playing With Movement:
"If you want to 'play' with fitness as a way to improve general health, here are some 'rules of the game' to keep in mind. Have as much fun as possible within these basic constraints:
They're a great reminder that exercise can and should be fun, and sometimes, simply going for a long walk is better than not moving at all.
There are two approaches that I commonly seen taken to resourcing projects:
As much as I'd like to say that the former works well in a setting like a supermarket, I can't get on board. Having spent most of my teen years working at Wegmans, I find the latter approach has merit, no matter what the work entails.
I started at Wegmans pushing carts and ringing up customers. Through my several years there, I did everything from stocking shelves to managing disgruntled customers at the customer service desk to making drinks in the coffee shop. Somewhere along the line, I became a Front End Coordinator, scheduling cashiers for the day and addressing any issues during a customer's checkout.
I was always learning, and that variety kept me going. If it wasn't for that, I don't know that I would have stayed as long. I still apply what I learned at Wegmans to my life and work today.
All in all, I believe that people tend to stick around longer when they feel challenged in their job and see their efforts moving them forward. In that way, I see no difference between shifting an employee from cashier to customer service and assigning a designer on their first e-commerce project.
I had a refreshing 1-1 today with our design director, Christine. I always look forward to our Friday meetings, but today was particularly special because we tried something new.
A few weeks ago, I introduced a new format to organize our conversations in Notion. In addition to keeping shared notes, there's now a place to track growth areas and capture wins. I also pitched the idea of distinguishing between day-to-day conversations and higher-level visioning, which could happen monthly. Christine welcomed the idea, and we decided that the last weekly 1-1 of the month would focus on taking a step back to see the big picture. Today was the first of these meetings.
It was energizing to invite Christine into some of the works-in-progress around vision and team rituals that I'm currently exploring. She had great insights and feedback, adding momentum and inspiring me to keep going. We also uncovered new areas of opportunity for our team that I'm excited to develop further.
I'm looking forward to continuing these higher-level visioning sessions alongside Christine's regular 1-1s while also experimenting with the other managers on my team. I see them morphing into conversations not only around our team's development but our personal development, specifically how we can continue to show up as stronger leaders.
When I see an employee working late or looking overwhelmed, it is my instinct to jump in with them, discuss the work causing the late nights, and help course-correct. At first, everything usually evens out, but too often, the cycle repeats months or even weeks later. If nothing changes, the employee eventually moves on, citing burnout as the cause.
Before we get too far, let's align on burnout. Burnout is when an employee feels mentally drained. They stop caring about the work and have no motivation to continue. You might think of burnout as being stuck in a dark hole. The way out feels unreachable, and the light is slowly dimming. The employee has lost all hope for change and only sees themselves falling deeper.
Not fun! In any way, shape, or form. While an unrealistic workload can be a contributing factor, I think there's more to the story.
Simply put, burnout is complex. It is not going away, especially in our increasing remote workforce, where our deskspace may be steps away from where we lay our head to rest. Combine this with care and love for our work, and it can be pretty hard to disconnect.
Looking back to the earliest days of my career, I'd think nothing of staying at the office past 6 pm. Was it because I said yes too much? Sometimes. Was that because I wanted to learn as much as I could? Always. Did I get burned out? No.
What kept me going through those exhausting moments was that I knew my contributions served the client's desired outcome. In addition, I saw these experiences were fueling my growth. I've been lucky to work with supportive leaders who supported me in finding my direction forward, personally and professionally.
When an employee cites burnout as they walk out the door, they may attribute their current emotional state solely to having too much on their plate, but deep down, it's likely they concluded that it was all for nothing.
In the book, An Everyone Culture, authors Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey state, "research shows that the single biggest cause of work burnout is not work overload, but working too long without experiencing your own personal development."
In a company setting, everyone may be aligned and fighting for the same outcomes, but there's no hiding that each of us wants to be getting better through the process. I don't necessarily mean getting promoted or changing titles, which doesn't always reflect growth; I mean feeling challenged, overcoming hurdles, and seeing positive change in yourself. If this is not true of our experience, chances are we'll start questioning whether our current position is the right fit.
Keeping this in mind, when I notice an employee looking swamped, I do my best to fight the instinct to intervene with assumptions. Even with the best intentions, I've learned the hard way that taking work off their shoulders can have unintended consequences, like robbing them of a growth opportunity, making them feel like they couldn't succeed on their own, or taking them away from work that they love. Each of these can create an impact that sticks.
Instead, I try to lead with curiosity and unpack what might be contributing to their anxiety.
From career ambitions to time management, these conversations can yield incredible insights. If one of the challenges is the amount of work, I can help them delegate it. The beauty is that we can decide together while also helping them stay on track with their personal development.
I love when people ask me questions that I've never answered before. In most cases, I can take a few moments to form an opinion and find my way to a response. In certain instances, it requires a follow-up.
Today, a potential candidate asked me: What type of personality does Barrel look for in a candidate? Who would be a good fit? This question was one of those questions.
In the moment, I'll be honest, I just started thinking out loud. Long after the call ended, my mind was still going. Hence why we're here now!
Anyway, my first thought was that we don't look for a personality type. What I love about our team is the mix of individuals that, together, make Barrel a special (virtual) place to come to work every day.
Second, what is a personality type anyway? When you think about it, it's kinda silly to label anyone as "outgoing" or "reserved." We all have our nuances, and as a proponent of personal growth, I believe we change a little bit with every passing day and experience.
As I continued with my stream of consciousness, I thought about each of our core values. We call them the Four C's:
I realized that the first three values are harder to achieve without the last, candor.
Collaboration. To collaborate and work toward a shared solution, we must be open, honest, and willing to give and receive feedback, judgment-free. Clients and employees alike.
Community. The communities that make us feel welcome and supported are those that accept us for who we are. It takes vulnerability to put our whole selves out there. To accept and be accepted. If we cannot be open and honest, there is a lack of trust. Without trust, a true sense of community may be out of reach.
Creativity. To me, being creative requires us to be in touch with ourselves, our fellow human beings, and our world. If we are unwilling to open our minds and listen to any of these three, we're missing out on what it means to be creative. To be inspired and learn from all that surrounds us, fueling our innovation.
So, what does this all mean?
It's not about personality types. It is about how we work together, treat one another, and discover new possibilities. At Barrel, candor is a priority. When I think about those who thrive in our company culture, it is those who openly share their ideas and accept others when they reciprocate. It is those who are unafraid to give feedback and receive feedback. They see props and criticism as the same: a tool for future growth.
Is Barrel some dreamland where everyone is honest and never leaving things unsaid? No. For everyone, including me, it is a neverending work-in-progress. However, when you make something a priority, that means you keep it top of mind in everything you do. From team meetings to debriefs to performance reviews, we look for opportunities to practice candor together every day, getting a little better and a little more open at every step.
Years ago, I learned a valuable lesson about communication when a client chose not to continue our relationship.
While we did some preliminary research when scoping out the project, we had an aggressive timeline to meet, so we moved forward with many stones left unturned.
Weeks into the project, we realized that the time buffer we had given ourselves was not enough. The client agreed to a launch date a few days later than planned. Little did we know, that was the beginning of the end.
It wasn't the delay that bothered them; it was all that happened leading up to launch. We knew we had our work cut out for us, so we put our heads down and got to work. What we didn't realize was the anxiety the client was feeling.
Our work was to update the website to support the launch of an exciting new collection of products. These products had been in the works for almost a year, so hitting the timeline was critical. We took this very seriously, but that didn't matter if it wasn't clear to the client.
There we were, doing everything we could to ship a quality product, on-time. Sometimes, putting in late nights. What did the client see? Nothing. We went into a hole, so the client had no idea what was going on.
By the time we resurfaced, days before launch, their imagination had run wild. It didn't matter how far along we were. They had lost trust. The anxiety of not knowing whether or not we were on track far outweighed any progress.
I did not know any of this, by the way, when we were in the thick of it. We could sense the client's discontent, but it wasn't until after launch, when I reached out to the client to chat, that I understood why. Luckily, we ended on good terms. About a year later, they actually came back willing to give us another chance, but the project fell through.
I've taken this experience to heart. It was one of the first accounts where I led the team, so it hit particularly hard. I felt like I let them down, but I'm grateful for what the experience taught me: bending over backward for a client doesn't strengthen trust in the relationship if they get left in the dark.
Since then, we've introduced rituals like recap documents and weekly status calls and established new ways to involve the client more in our process. As important as it is to err on over-communication, we've found that clients often feel most energized about the work when they feel like they have a hand in it.
We've come a long way, and I'm excited to continue working on our system for managing projects because when we're going at full steam, it's easy to forget to pop up and say, "Hey client, here's what's happening!" The goal is that we never have to remind ourselves; it's second nature.
When I first started hiring folks, I viewed reference calls as a chance to verify what I heard in the interview. Then, the more calls I got on, the more my mindset changed. I found that I learned so more about the candidate when I got curious.
What was it like collaborating with them?
What did they find most exciting about their work?
How did they handle feedback?
If we hired the candidate, it felt great. I learned more about their working style, strengths, and opportunities, creating a solid foundation for our relationship.
I realized that if verifying information was all I was after, there was no trust in the relationship, and they hadn't even joined the team! I started trusting what I heard and, instead of verifying, used it to guide what areas to go deeper on.
These days, I enjoy reference calls quite a bit. For me, they are just as important as the interview itself, and each delivers a unique value. In the interview, you get to learn about the candidate's background and what led them to apply to work with you. In the reference calls, you have an opportunity to get an inside look at what it might be like to work alongside them, from past managers, co-workers, and in some cases, direct reports.
Together, these can paint a full picture of the individual, giving you that much more background to set them up for success in their new role should you choose to hire them.
"The great philosopher Dolly Parton [once said], find out who you are and do it on purpose. ... And I would like to flip Dolly's phrase upside down, and I'd like to say: do it on purpose, and you'll find out who you are. Asking for a guarantee before you start isn't helpful. Instead, we need to look at a concept, an idea, and be willing to try it out with intent because if we do, if we try it on for size, we will figure out if it fits us. As opposed to the opposite, which is spending a lot of time figuring out who we are and then going and finding the things that fit us." (Seth Godin on The Knowledge Project: #105 Seth Godin: Failing On Our Way to Mastery)
Seth's concept goes beyond self-discovery. I see it as a statement on the power of acting with passion and, in the process, achieving clarity. On the flip side, many of us get stuck searching for clarity before ever getting started.
Defining a vision for what we want is critical when establishing our goals and aspirations. However, at a certain point, it can become an excuse for not diving in. We stall, claiming that there are too many unanswered questions to begin.
I remember feeling this way when I started my newsletter. At first, I kept questioning myself, wondering if I really had anything valuable to share. Once I got over that hump, I spent all this time debating the name of the newsletter. As if the name The Beatles had anything to do with their success. I hadn't written a word yet!
Yes, we need to know where we're going, but once we have a direction, we can learn the most not by laboring over the finer details but by doing. Why? Details change. It's inevitable.
Say that you want to start a YouTube channel reviewing music. You can spend the next six months, maybe even a year or more, talking about it, deliberating over what type of music you want to review and how long the videos should be. But, how can you ever claim to know until you try? Instead, you can make a video. Post it. Get feedback. Make another one with that feedback in mind. Post it. Continue.
Imagine if we redirected the energy we spent thinking and talking about what we want to getting to work. Then, where would we be?
Sometime in Middle School, I dated a girl who used to tell me that I lived in a fantasy world (or something along those lines). Essentially, I would talk about a future in stark contrast to current reality. To me, it was invigorating. It gave purpose to my priorities and a vision for where I wanted to be down the road, but when I heard this feedback, I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me wonder if I needed to get real instead of living in a dream state.
I'm not sure if my fantasy-speak was what ended that relationship, but it didn't last long.
I kept on dreaming.
I hadn't returned to this memory until reading The Path of Least Resistance last month. In it, author Robert Fritz underscores the importance of defining vision. Without it, we get stuck playing whack-a-mole, spending more time problem solving than thinking about what we really want.
Reading this book made me look back on my Middle School fling with gratitude. Gratitude for teaching me something about myself that, years later, I've come to view as a strength, personally and professionally.
I'm not suggesting that we fool ourselves by not acknowledging our current reality. But, once we're clear, we can start looking ahead at what reality we want to create.
Contrary to what my Middle School fling might say, I find that speaking about that future as fact, not as a possibility, helps drive even more momentum toward our vision.
In The Three Laws of Performance, authors Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan call this "future-based language."
"Future-based language, also called generative language, has the power to create new futures, to craft vision, and to eliminate the blinders that are preventing people from seeing possibilities. It doesn't describe how a situation occurs; it transforms how it occurs. It does this by rewriting the future." (Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan, The Three Laws of Performance)
As leadership within any organization, this is why future-based language is critical. By not only aligning the team on vision but making the vision a part of everyday discourse, we can help propel them toward a future that, on their own, they may never have imagined.
"In most organizations, the network of conversations is noisy, conflicted, filled up with gossip and chatter that makes new futures impossible because they project a probable and default future that people are living into. From the perspective of the Three Laws, leadership is empowering others to rewrite the already-existing default future and to realize goals that weren't going to happen. From this definition, 100 percent of leadership happens through conversations that pull people into the game, not through sitting back and creating visions that then need to be sold. Leaders who master using future-based language have power that others don't have." (Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan, The Three Laws of Performance)
At the end of the day, what employees want most from their manager is honesty. And if we expect honesty from our team, well, we should practice what we preach.
Sometimes, managers struggle with telling the real story, worried about what might happen if they disclose too much information. Well, here's the thing. You can choose to keep everything close to the vest and let your team create narratives about what they're experiencing, OR you can be open and let them know what's really going on. The way I look at it is this: the facts are the facts, no matter how you spin them.
Early on, I used to take a more reserved approach to management. Then one day, I found myself spending more time deliberating about how to say the "right" thing vs. getting to the point and taking action. Yeah, silly.
Since then, I've found freedom in doing my best to leave nothing unsaid. It was uncomfortable at first, but every chance I got, I practiced. I soon learned that honesty inspires honesty. These days, I'm a big believer in that. Sometimes, my team comes to me with things that I can't believe they're sharing, but I'm so glad they did.
Here's an example: In a 1-1, an employee once told me they took an interview elsewhere and why they did. Barrel is their first job, and they were curious to hear how other agencies operate. We went on to talk about how they could become more connected to their peers and learn from the community. Note: They're still here! And continue to be a valuable contributor to the team.
When you put it all out there, sure, folks may still interpret information in different ways, but at least they're working with all of the facts. You can work with them to clarify without worrying about what version of the story you told or beating around the bush. Phew, trust me - it feels good.
I've always respected Amazon's willingness to experiment with ideas in market. From the Fire Phone to the Amazon Tap (which I happen to own and love), Amazon has launched numerous products and initiatives that didn't work out as planned. But, they put their best foot forward, gave it a go, and most importantly, knew when to fold their hand to focus elsewhere.
"Another lesson my father taught me, and without question, this is one to commit to memory: Life is only partly about how you hold and handle your cards. Don’t ever be so goddamn sure of anything, because nothing in life is a given. No matter how good the odds, no matter who's the favorite, no one but no one wins every race. Even when we pay attention, when we hope and pray and prepare and double- and triple-check, things go sideways. People lose their health and hard-earned businesses and the loves of their lives, and no one sees it coming. That's the hardscrabble of life. Sometimes, you have to know when to fold your cards and call it a draw." (Paul Van Doren, Authentic)
As a manager, embracing this mindset over the years has been liberating. Looking back, I'd say that this simple shift has had the most profound impact on my ability to generate results as a leader.
Instead of going into a hole and attempting to craft a bulletproof solution on my own, I engaged others in the process, sharing ideas and gathering insights. I realized that "perfection" was a never-ending pursuit, so I focused on what I could do more immediately in the short term to move closer to the long-term vision, even if it wasn't flawless.
For example, when I saw that the team was struggling with presentations, I conducted a workshop on what made a presentation successful. I took those findings and developed a Designer Preparation Prep Checklist that each designer would fill out for review before presenting their work. From vision realization to implementation, this took all about two weeks.
At first, the doc got heavy use. Then, it started fizzling out. My instinct would have been to resurface it and require its use, but then I noticed something, presentations were improving. The doc was no longer relevant.
So, did it fail?
Some might say yes, no one uses it. While that may be true, I'd say no - it was never about a doc or process; it was about creating a tool to help mentor designers to lead better presentations. As these discussions became part of our everyday, the doc was irrelevant. I'm just glad I gave it a go instead of losing precious time trying to craft the perfect vision.
Funny enough, I found out recently that our Design Director still shares the doc with Junior folks from time to time. I guess it's a bit like me and my discontinued Amazon Tap.
Alright, so the moral of the story is this...
When looking to create change within an organization, we, of course, want to get it right. However, we have to resist the urge to perfect for too long. Why? Well, time waits for no one, and truthfully, most things are a constant work-in-progress.
What matters most is that we try. Put the time in to define a path forward, get feedback, and go for it. The worst thing that happens is that it doesn't work out, but the beauty is that you'll have more information to make the next step forward that much more impactful.
I remember taking trips to NYC with my family as a kid. My younger brother is a tap dancer, and at a young age, danced in clubs throughout the city, so we were there regularly.
On some days more than others, Manhattan traffic was rough. My Dad used to call particularly painful intersections the "white knuckle zone," meaning your hands are gripping the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles turn white. He also used to say, "you have to commit" before driving fearlessly into a sea of yellow cabs determined to get to their destination.
Spending a decade living in the city, I thought of these phrases often, especially while driving in Manhattan, Dana in the passenger seat, wincing at every turn.
What I've discovered, though, is that these concepts go beyond navigating Manhattan. If my Dad didn't commit; instead, stuck debating the perfect time to go, we would have never gotten anywhere.
In life, indecision is the enemy of progress. It's worthwhile to think things through, but at a certain point, you have to commit.
"When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that last blow that did it—but all that had gone before.” (Jacob A. Riis)
I'm not sure there's a better way to describe the power of perseverance. Whether it's exercising, learning an instrument, or any other endeavor, it is way too easy to give up early on. You can't see the crack forming, but every strike is a strike closer to the split. The tough part is that you never know when it's coming. Before you throw in the towel, remember that you could be giving up one or two strikes away from something big.
My approach? Find joy in the hammering, not the final crack.
You can't rewrite history, or can you? It depends on how you look at it, I guess. You can remember an event one way or another and even document it how you choose. You can try to "fix" any mistakes and remedy any mishaps. However, neither of these options change what transpired.
This thought crosses my mind, now and again, regarding my habits. For example, I try to read every day for 30 minutes. I track this habit, along with others, in a simple little app called Done.
If I miss a day of reading, can I read for an hour the next day and count it as two sessions? Well, of course, there are no rules, but there is integrity. I have a hard time feeling good pretending that I read one day when I didn't. But then again, is it about the tracking or the value of practicing healthy habits?
Taking a step back reminds me that it's the latter. Tracking is just a tool to keep going and check in on progress. That's the risk in gamifying anything. When the game becomes more important than the purpose, it may be time to re-calibrate.
"It all comes down to getting the right people in the right seats." (Gino Wickman, Traction)
Before deciding whether or not you have the right people, take a closer look at the seats.
You hired them because you saw something special. Are they able to flex their unique ability in their current position?
You were excited for them to join because you saw their potential. Are you giving them the opportunities and support needed to reach it?
The hardest part is getting started.
The hardest part is navigating curveballs.
The hardest part is pushing through plateaus.
The hardest part is knowing when you're finished.
The hardest part is acknowledging the fruits of your labor.
The hardest part is seeing the win, even when you've lost.
The hardest part only grows harder when I label it that way. In moments of defeat, I think that life would be better if I could only get through to the other side. Then, if I do, the other side has a new set of challenges.
I'm always practicing how not to get hung up on "the hardest part" because I know it will change with every step forward. In that way, the hardest part is just another part of the process.
If you're like me, and catch yourself labeling challenges, try to resist the urge. Focus on finding your groove. Understand the process. Practice. Show up. Show up again and again.
The hardest parts are no match for perseverance and consistency.
"This week flew by."
"Wow. It felt like this week lasted a lifetime."
"Was that Monday? That seems like ages ago."
"I can't believe it's already been a year."
Time is constant, yet it always feels like it's moving fast or slow. Our commitments, hopes, and fears shape our perceptions.
We cannot control time; but we can control our relationship with it. We can recognize its rhythm and design our world to get in sync. Or we can ride the wave, always falling behind or racing to catch up.
"You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results." (James Clear, Atomic Habits)
For the last week, I've been visiting with family in a suburb outside of London. At times, it's been a challenge to keep up with my daily habits, but I've been able to stick with many of them, like reading, writing, and journaling. That said, my exercise regimen, diet, and alcohol consumption have gone by the wayside, by choice.
I've opted to maximize the time to play with my nieces and nephews rather than find time to exercise. I've opted to indulge in one or two sticky toffee puddings with family instead of prioritizing my diet. (It's delicious, by the way.) I've opted to toast with a classic gin and tonic instead of sticking with water. What feels good, though, is that I feel in control. I'm not concerned with how these decisions might impact my life in the near term because I know I'm still on track; my current trajectory is looking good long-term.
I'm excited to continue enjoying what's left of this trip and then hitting the ground running when I return home.
While it's good to be future-oriented and set big goals, we can't forget to be present. When we become obsessed with achieving an outcome, we risk missing what's right in front of us.
"We think we need more and don’t realize we already have so much. We work so hard “for our families” that we don’t notice the contradiction—that it’s because of work that we never see them." (Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key)
Always a welcome reminder; for now, and the future.
While your client may be one of many, to them, you're the only one. Embrace the latter; never give them a reason to be reminded of the former.
"If your shoulder starts to hurt while doing a push-up, the first thing you will do is start making some adjustments to your form. This happens spontaneously and unconsciously. You might slow your speed, move your hands a little bit further apart, or adjust your trunk angle. After a few repetitions of playing around, the shoulder now feels comfortable. Now imagine you are in a class with an instructor telling you exactly how you need to be moving, prescribing the “correct” hand placement, technique, sets and reps. Or worse yet, telling you that you need to stop moving right away and go to the doc. This might inhibit the natural tinkering process that would have solved the problem." (Todd Hargrove, Playing With Movement)
As a manager, it’s natural to want to step in when we see an employee struggling. We know we can leverage our experience to make their lives easier. The trouble is what happens later when we’re not there to provide a step-by-step. They freeze, worrying about remembering the steps instead of feeling out the situation, asking questions, and making their way. The best thing we can do as managers is to teach the fundamentals, leaving enough room for employees to tinker and figure out their version of solving the problem.
The other day, I inflated a balancing disc my mother-in-law got me to keep my feet occupied while sitting at my desk. It's also fun to use for practice balance during a workout. Anyway, as I was nearing the end of inflating it, I noticed it became difficult to see progress in how inflated it was and determine if it was complete.
I'm not sure what it is was about this simple experience, but it made me think about growth in various parts of my life. It was a reminder to keep working toward my goals, even during periods that feel stagnant. Often, you're on the brink of something special, and all you need to do is keep pushing through.
I wonder if we don't ask for feedback more frequently because we don't want the burden of addressing it, not because we're afraid to hear it. When we receive critical feedback, it is natural to feel pressure; pressure to make abrupt changes and find solutions immediately. Rarely does this work or lead to lasting change. Meaningful growth takes time, patience, and discipline.
One of our maxims at Barrel is "all feedback is information." When you look at feedback through this lens, it seems silly for us not to crave feedback daily if we're serious about our growth.
Whether positive or critical, feedback is information that we do not have access to on our own about our work, way of being, and performance. It helps us better understand ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. We can choose to resist it, but the fact is that the feedback, or the way others perceive us, is not reliant on whether or not we are willing to face it.
I like to think of feedback as fuel for new ideas about how I can be better. Even when it's regarding a positive trait or behavior, how can I do this more? What is it about this that I can bring to other areas of my performance?
When receiving feedback, listen closely and take notes. Maybe you disagree with the feedback and feel you need to speak up. Or, there's missing context, and you need to fill in the gaps. If you do either, the chances are that the feedback giver will shut down, and you will lose access to the precious information that they are offering you. That sounds likes a loss to me.
If we agree that feedback is nothing more than information, the best thing we can do is be curious when we receive it, hungry to understand. As you listen to the feedback, ask questions to gain more context. Try to put yourself in the feedback giver's shoes and understand their perspective fully. You said that you feel like you're unable to make your own decisions; do you feel like I trust you? If not, what about our relationship makes you feel that way?
Equipped with notes, take time to reflect. What are the few things you can do today, tomorrow, this week to show even 1% improvement in the key areas? Remember, meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. Sort through the details, prioritize, and keep on keeping on!
In my newsletter this week, I explored the benefits of inviting a reset to routine. Barrel CEO and fellow partner Peter Kang responded to the email with a response that I think captures it perfectly: "Love the reset mindset!! Turning curveball into a home run!" Watching Peter become a father two times over and manage to keep up with his routine has been inspiring to witness. A practice I aim to embody as a father someday.
There have certainly been curveballs with my recent relocation. Rather than force my old routine or dwell on the fact that I'm off track, I have come to welcome these curveballs with open arms and see what opportunities they present.
Since Monday, I've adopted a 9 am to 5 pm work schedule, fully embracing the new work hours options we rolled out this week to give the team more flexibility across time zones. This structural adjustment to my day has opened the doors for me to redesign my routine.
What I've loved the most so far is the quiet time in the morning to think and explore ideas, an activity I used to embark on toward the end of the day. There's clarity of mind in the morning that is hard to capture at the end of the workday.
I start my day by writing in my journal before checking my phone or engaging with the world. Then, I get ready, completing my Readwise Daily Review while brushing my teeth. Then, I head up to my office to read for 30 minutes.
Over the last couple of months, I stopped reading in the morning and transitioned to getting it done just before bed. While I enjoyed how reading provided a calming moment before sleep, I find that reading paired with the other morning rituals is powerful for generating ideas and easing into the day.
After reading, the goal is to write and think. If I'm lucky, I'll get my daily note completed. For the last two days, this has not been the case; instead, I ended up drafting two longer pieces that I'm eager to continue exploring. One of which will likely become next week's newsletter!
By 10 am (when I used to begin working), I feel a sense of accomplishment heading into the day. My vision for the future is for the morning to continue to be a sacred time for deep thinking and long-term planning.
“Without great solitude, no serious work is possible.” (Pablo Picasso)
When the day ends at 5 pm, I try to jump right into a workout and get the body moving. Someday I may try to exercise in the morning, but for now, I still find early evening workouts to be an effective way to release the body and mind from the events of the day and enter the evening with renewed energy.
What I find fascinating is that while these activities are all slight adjustments from my old routine, the change in timing has already proven to make a profound difference. In the past, there were many days where I felt trapped by my daily rituals. I'd stay up late to get my reading in or have to skip working out so I could make dinner. Now, by 6 pm, my goal is to have all my daily rituals completed, leaving ample time to do whatever I want until my head hits the pillow. This feeling is freeing, and the joy it brings is priceless.
"To some, routine can sound like where creativity and innovation go to die—the ultimate exercise in boredom. We even use the word as a synonym for pallid and bland, as in “It has just become routine for me.” And routines can indeed become this—the wrong routines. But the right routines can actually enhance innovation and creativity by giving us the equivalent of an energy rebate. Instead of spending our limited supply of discipline on making the same decisions again and again, embedding our decisions into our routine allows us to channel that discipline toward some other essential activity." (Greg McKeown, Essentialism)
Easier said than done.
However, if you can describe the steps and imagine the outcome, how hard can it be? Are you passionate enough to take the first step? Courageous enough to see where it leads us?
If the answer is no, who cares how easy it is to say? It must not be worthwhile pursuing.
I have this theory that many of the perceived challenges of remote work are gaps that have always existed but have become illuminated now that we can't run over to a coworker's desk in the middle of the day.
Last week, we hosted our quarterly town hall and monthly team meeting. For these team-wide meetings, we enjoy experimenting with new formats regularly. Our focus is on hosting meetings that feel more like a team-wide dialogue than a formal presentation.
Back in the office days, we didn't talk about team meeting engagement nearly as much as we do as a remote-first company. Now, we're hard on ourselves when less than a few people participate. We use this as fuel by asking for feedback and identifying areas to improve the next time around.
From that perspective, I think our team-wide meetings have only gotten better since going remote. We used to rely on non-verbals and laughter to gauge engagement. These days, with Zoom and the need for muting, this can be a challenge.
This constraint has forced us to think more deeply about our time together. Here are a few changes from the last several months:
My brother, Nick, had a friend growing up who could never hang out when he had one “big” event going on that day, a family dinner, going to the DMV, decorating the Christmas tree, etc. It frustrated Nick. He wondered what happened to the other 13 or so hours of the day.
I find myself guilty of this mindset now and then, despite knowing how silly it is. When there is something "big" I need to get done, my instinct can be to clear the day to make room for it. Otherwise, I worry that I will not have the time to reach completion.
The truth, though, is that I do this when I have no plan. I want to clear my day because I cannot see the path to completion. Without that clarity, I let the one "big" task takes precedence over everything else.
In these moments, I remind myself to pause, thinking through how to spend my time. Then, getting clear on what completion looks like at every stage of the process. Rather than losing a whole day to write my newsletter, I focus on when I want to have a concept, first draft, and final edit. This simple step puts my mind at ease and frees up space to focus on other important areas of life.
I wonder if Nick's friend was a poor planner or just needed clarity on a few details for his "big" event to make better use of his day.
Inspired by The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz, I've enjoyed thinking about this question lately: If all of your problems disappeared tomorrow, what would you want?
When your problems frame your vision, you create imaginary barriers around your future.
What do you really want?
We've all met someone who "thought of that" invention before it hit the market and became wildly successful. I'm not that person, but I do have a story.
When I was in first, maybe second grade, I was crazy about skateboarding. So much so that my sixth-grade assessment topic was "the history of skateboarding." I can still remember the poster board of painted red bricks. Anyway, I digress. I wanted to keep skating while at school, and I couldn't, so I decided to create a mini version of my skateboard.
I cut index cards into the shape of a skateboard, filled the bottom layer with glue, and folded up the sides so my fingers could stay attached. Then, I waited for the glue to dry and become firm before adding artwork to the bottom. The final touch was wrapping the entire thing in tape, my version of waterproofing.
These glue-filled boards were all the rage among my friends. I started making them for kids on the playground, custom artwork included. I can't remember if I charged them or not, but I want to say that a "skateboard" was 25 cents.
In 2008, Tech Deck hit the scene, and I was out of business. If you ask my Dad today, he'll tell you that he still gets sick thinking about this.
If you can't beat them, join them. I joined the Tech Deck movement and pivoted my "business." If you're not familiar with Tech Deck, their skateboards are identical, miniature copies of real skateboards, wheels, trucks, hardware, and all. I'll admit, I still find them super cool.
Tech Deck boards were so realistic, I dreamed of having a mini version of my skateboard. Turns out, so did all the other kids, but naturally, Tech Deck didn't have every skateboard you could buy in real life (especially the more budget-friendly boards I owned).
Fairly new to the power of the internet, I logged on to CCS.com, learned how to resize the image of my board (in MS Paint?), and printed it. With some glue stick action and fancy scissor work, I had a personalized Tech Deck. After I had a few boards under my belt, I began offering this service to my fellow skateboard enthusiasts.
I look back on these memories fondly. I don't think what if? I think about how they were early signs of my love for invention, design, and entrepreneurship.
All said, it is a good reminder that ideas are nothing without action, no matter how big or small. Everyone has ideas. Few of us are passionate enough to go after them with the belief and perseverance to make them a reality. On a second-grade scale, I'd like to think I did. For my seven-year-old self, that was a success.
A couple of years before, my startup did fail, though. I decided to open a bank (I don't know why), photocopying dollar bills onto neon green paper. When my Pop-Pop got wind of it, he shut down the whole operation, sternly filling me in on the illegal nature of what I was doing. That's a story for next time.
"If the quiet moments are the best moments, and if so many wise, virtuous people have sung their praises, why are they so rare? Well, the answer is that while we may naturally possess stillness, accessing it is not easy." (Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key)
We love to be productive.
"Being productive is about occupying your time—filling your schedule to the brim and getting as much done as you can. Being effective is about finding more of your time unoccupied and open for other things besides work. Time for leisure, time for family and friends. Or time for doing absolutely nothing." (Jason Fried, David Heinemeier Hansson, It Doesn't Have to Be Crazy at Work)
Are we afraid to be effective? To have nothing to check off our to-do list? To discover the power in sitting alone with our thoughts?
"While the magnitude and urgency of our struggle is modern, it is rooted in a timeless problem. Indeed, history shows that the ability to cultivate quiet and quell the turmoil inside us, to slow the mind down, to understand our emotions, and to conquer our bodies has always been extremely difficult. “All of humanity’s problems,” Blaise Pascal said in 1654, “stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”" (Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key)
My Pop-Pop once told my brothers and me that he couldn’t see the difference between the colors of the traffic lights while driving. At a few decibels higher than necessary, he shared his approach with passion, “I know the top is the red one, the middle is yellow, and the bottom one is green. What else do I need to know!?”
I was old enough to be a bit alarmed, but the only driving he did was back and forth to his job at Wendy’s, so we let it go. We didn’t have much choice in the matter anyway; we knew there was no way he'd give up driving.
That night, I remember thinking about how I never paid much attention to the order of lights on a traffic light. Now, when I get stuck at a red light, I often think of Pops.
Maybe it's a stretch, but when I think about Pops's seemingly hazardous approach to driving now, I see it more like a parable on life. We all make our way through the world differently. My path may not be the one for you and yours for me, but who are we to judge? If we trade that judgment for curiosity, we may just learn a thing or two.
I wasn't sure why I returned to this story last night, but it came to mind after designing the artwork for yesterday's note on going after what you want, an abstracted greenlight. I love these unconscious links in thought.
People like to say some variation of, "do it now because you never know if you'll get the chance again," but I don't know...that seems like a pretty gloomy outlook on life. I prefer to take a more positive spin.
If there is something you want now, make it happen. Not because you won't have the chance, but because life happens, things change.
Whether you're seeking the feeling of wearing funky shoes or your hair flowing in the wind doesn't matter. Either way, you'll always wonder what it would have felt like to make that choice.
Sometimes, it won't be what you expect, but living without the weight of wonder and regret is priceless. Other times, it will exceed your expectations. In either case, it may even inadvertently lead to somewhere new. There are few examples of this in my life that immediately come to mind.
Wanted to make a new friend: If I hadn't mustered up the courage to talk to the kid at the bus stop wearing the same shoes as me in fourth grade, I wouldn't have met Kyle. We've been best friends ever since. By the way, we were born nine days apart. Weird.
Wanted to try teaching: If I hadn't decided to inquire about starting a Teaching Assistant program within the Graphic and Interactive Design program in college, I wouldn't have met my wife, Dana, in my first class. I loved teaching. I feel lucky to know that and that somehow it will fit into my future.
Wanted to experience a new city: If I hadn't chosen to move to NYC, I wouldn't have landed at Barrel. I'd probably still be wondering what it would be like to live here, but at this point, less interested in the pace. Oh, and the job that got me to the city? Not what I expected, but hey, it got me here.
Why wonder when you can find out now?
In our pursuit of efficiency, we look for every opportunity to remove the manual part of the process. The more we automate, the more we standardize, the faster we can create. But at what point does our race toward efficiency go too far?
Whether we're redesigning a client's website or launching a marketing campaign, the objective of efficiency during the creative process is about more than speed. Building efficiency creates more space to be creative. By reducing repetitive work, we gain time to focus on thinking big.
When we become obsessed with efficiency, focusing solely on speed, we risk losing our creative firepower. We go beyond the repetitive work and start standardize what made projects special: our ideas. We remove the brainstorm session, and instead, every project begins with a set of boilerplate concepts based on the client.
We slowly become less connected to our work as it becomes formulaic. We start wondering if we're even needed at all.
When you're looking for opportunities to be more efficient, look for the mindless work that happens every time, not the work that requires creativity and thought, even if sometimes that's what takes the longest.
Why do we crave recognition?
Why do we want our work to be acknowledged?
For me, these are signs of progress when I'm doing work that impacts others. I feel good when I achieve a goal, but I often don't feel a true sense of accomplishment until relevant parties notice the step forward.
"Love that document you put together! Super helpful for future projects."
"Great workshop! I enjoyed the new format. Thanks for running that!"
While there is often an audience for the work I do, expecting behavior from them is no way to build momentum because, for one, what if it never comes? Do you stop and give up?
The more that I explore the source of this mindset, I notice there's more to the story: getting clear on what I set out to do in the first place. I seek recognition or acknowledgment when I am not clear with myself on what I wanted to create.
For example, it's not about completing the deck; it's about the team having the autonomy to repeat a process without guidance or clients getting more hands-on during a design presentation.
Recognition is different than feedback. While being recognized may feel good and lift our spirits, it's temporary and rarely actionable enough to move an idea forward. To create results, what we want is information. Information we can get when we ask for specific feedback.
Vision: The team has the autonomy to repeat the process without guidance.
Vision: The client can engage and give more real-time feedback during the design process.
Once we get clear on what we want to create, feedback can anchor us to the results. From there, we may decide we can move on to discover a new vision or decide there's more work to be done. Either way, we can breathe knowing that we're in control of getting what we need to make our vision a reality.
We love to tell everyone about the singer/songwriter who can't sell out a show but whose records we play on repeat.
We love to tell everyone about the family-owned restaurant that is always empty on a Saturday night but has the most incredible homemade pasta.
We love to tell everyone until everyone knows.
That band? They're sell-outs. Have you heard of this new artist?
That restaurant? The pasta is not the same. Have you tried this new restaurant?
On to the next best-kept secret...
If something feels off, "flagging it" is hardly enough. Flags without suggestions simply create a mark; they don't heal.
If something goes wrong, "I flagged it" gets us nowhere; it turns our heads backward when we should be looking forward.
To most, "I flagged it" sounds like "I told someone there was an issue, but they did nothing. It's not my fault." We waste time and energy pointing fingers.
Sure, maybe someone is accountable, but if we’re a team and we made decisions together, chances are we all played our part in the outcome.
Flag it, and find a way.
I once attended a design conference where a surprising number of the notable designers giving talks mentioned how terrible their experience following a management track was and why designers should steer clear of it.
Okay, I agree that management isn't the right fit for everyone. But, there I was, a designer with a passion for management and so far, loving it.
I sat among the crowd of wide-eyed conference-goers and wondered, what happens if everyone takes their advice? Who will coach, support, and mentor the next generation of designers?
I returned to New York with an intensified desire to continue on my path and share lessons learned along the way, with the hope that those with a passion for creative management may benefit, or simply, stay inspired to keep going.
"As a general, Napoleon made it his habit to delay responding to the mail. His secretary was instructed to wait three weeks before opening any correspondence. When he finally did hear what was in a letter, Napoleon loved to note how many supposedly “important” issues had simply resolved themselves and no longer required a reply." (Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key)
I wonder how Napoleon would have handled instant access to his mail every second of every day. Regardless, he was on to something with snail mail.
It is way too easy these days, and I guess two centuries ago too, to prioritize everything. Sometimes I think we do it because we want to be the hero. We want to come in and resolve every problem. The thing is that when we do that, there is no priority, and no one learns.
Not long ago, a client was emailing a member of our team late at night. The person did not see the back-to-back emails until it was just about bedtime. Unsure how to respond at that hour, they waited until morning.
At the start of the next day, they got in touch with the client for a call. The client immediately apologized for the late-night messages, embarrassed by their behavior. The issue turned out to be a misunderstanding.
I cannot help but think that had the team member seen the emails earlier and responded, the heat of the moment would have been explosive, dominating the evening and making a mountain out of a molehill.
Some issues do require our immediate attention, but more often than not, it pays to be selective.
I remember inviting a classmate to my house to "jam" with me in middle school. He'd play piano while I sang and played guitar. I was looking for more people to perform music with and heard that he was quite good.
Despite being a talented pianist, classically trained through childhood, he could not keep up. There I was, self-taught, jamming away, not even sure what key I was playing in while he sat there trying to make sense of every note. Unfortunately, I had no sheet music to guide him.
On paper, he was brilliant. In practice, it was not a good fit. As he packed up to head home that day, I remember thinking that I should have talked to him about what I imagined our session to be like rather than making assumptions about his background.
Whether it's adding a new member to your band or a new project manager to your team, who is the right hire?
Someone with the perfect skillset?
Someone with the right experience?
The right hire for you may not be the right hire for me, but does that make the candidate any less qualified for the job?
Imagine choosing a spouse or friend based on the skills you think they'll bring to the table or their track record with past relationships. While these areas may get surfaced early on in one way or another, they are not enough, on their own, to determine the future of the relationship.
You know you've found the right hire because you can feel it in your gut.
Maybe they don't have the perfect skillset.
Maybe their experience isn't what you'd expect.
Portfolios, resumes, tests, and personality assessments may help you feel better about that feeling, but when you know, you know. And more often than not, when you don't know, but let what's on paper tell you otherwise, you end up wishing you hadn't.
Tonight, I embarked on a piece that took me on a several-hour journey, much longer than expected. It has been some time since I've gotten lost like that. I can remember writing music in my dorm room until the wee hours of the morning, sitting on the bathroom floor strumming my sunburst acoustic guitar, singing softly to myself. You always wonder if what you're creating will be as exciting to you in the morning.
Part of me loves those moments of discovery, while the other part of me loves my sleep.
This weekend, I was out with family for a bike ride and decided to turn a leisurely ride into a workout using the Tabata training method.
Tabata training is a high-intensity interval training (HIIT) workout program invented by scientist Dr. Izumi Tabata in the 1990s. It is one of my favorite ways to get in a workout while traveling or when I'm looking for an efficient method for getting my heart rate up. Tabata training is simple:
You can make any workout longer by stacking Tabatas with different movements. For example, a simple and tough 20-minute bodyweight workout could look like this:
Note: You can add optional rest time but only between Tabatas. Try to keep it under 30 seconds!
If you don't have 20 minutes to spare, keep scaling it down. I know we all have four. Regardless of how long you workout, don't forget to get a stretch in before you get started.
Wondering how to track the time? There's plenty of options that don't require you to count in your head or doing "math." My favorite Tabata timer so far is this one. There are apps, too, but I love the simplicity of this timer on desktop and mobile. Yes, it was loudly screaming 3-2-1 from pant pocket while biking this weekend. Tested and approved.
Call it a healthy habit, a daily/weekly/monthly ritual, or a routine; whatever it may be, structure it with enough flexibility to keep it going without ever losing the joy of the practice. Too rigid of a structure can add pressure or stress, and practicing is anything but joyful. If that happens, you start questioning whether or not it's worth it. Then suddenly, you're not practicing at all.
The first sign that a conversation is necessary is when you realize that it will be difficult. Difficult conversations surface the uncomfortable truth we'd rather avoid; otherwise, we'd welcome them. And yet, delaying doesn't serve us. Delays not only delay progress but will only make the conversation more difficult in the future.
The art of lasting change is not about willpower or one heroic effort. It all starts with habits.
"A habit is a behavior that has been repeated enough times to become automatic." (James Clear, Atomic Habits)
Habits only become habits when there is a shift in lifestyle that allows for that activity to exist. Every time you practice a habit, consider yourself taking one step closer toward a larger outcome, whether it's desirable or not.
Eating sweets before bed every night will lead to unwanted weight gain over time. Eating an entire cake in one sitting won't lead to anything other than an upset stomach and maybe some temporary extra pounds.
Doing ten push-ups every morning will lead to a stronger upper body down the line. Suffering through 300 push-ups at once won't do much but make you tired.
"Any good coach will tell you that more is gained practicing a short time each day than doing it all at once. Living with it day by day keeps writing on your mind and in your muscles." (Pat Pattison, Writing Better Lyrics)
Dana and I enjoy watching interior design and home renovation TV shows together. Unfortunately, we have no more seasons left of Grand Designs, so we have been making our way through the latest season of Save My House.
In the episode last night, designers Nate and Jeremiah help an older couple who have been living without floors (plywood subfloor), literally, for 16 years. They were cooking on a cooktop and cleaning dishes in a hallway bathroom sink. The story goes like this: the couple embarked on a renovation almost two decades ago, the contractor was not reliable, then they "could not find anyone" with a good sense of design, so they tolerated this. They had the money, but they gave up. I wish I could show you the shape of this home. I am all for compact living, but this was like living in a construction zone. For 16 years...
At first, I was in disbelief. How could anyone let this go for that long? The couple had become grandparents a few years prior and did not feel safe having their grandson visit, so they never had him over. It was heartwarming to see them smile as he ran around their newly installed floors and kitchen at the end of the episode.
The more I thought about it, the more I could empathize. No, I have never tolerated anything this intense for that long, but I believe we all create obstacles in our lives, sometimes without even knowing, and we go about our days tolerating them.
I think of the suitcase I neglect to unpack on a busy Sunday night after visiting family. The action of the week ensues, so I leave it there, stepping over it night after night as I get into bed.
I think of the clothes that sat in the trunk of my car for months when I said I'd donate them. Whenever we'd need trunk space, I'd have to shift everything around to make room or make it all fit in the backseat.
I let myself become immune to these self-imposed obstacles, taking more energy to work around them than to remove them. When I finally take action, I feel liberated, free. There's a weight that I never even realized was there, only noticing it when it's gone.
The scary reality is that these seemingly small obstacles can have a compounding effect. At first, it's an unpacked suitcase, then a useless trunk. Add a few more, and suddenly, every day starts to look like an episode of American Ninja Warrior.
While we're stepping over suitcases as we try to relax and spending extra time packing when heading out of town is already stressful, our mood deteriorates. Happiness and joy become a thing of the past. All we can think to do is take any drastic measure to turn our situation around and get out of the mess. We hit our breaking point and rely on one giant heroic effort to save ourselves.
We rearrange our room because it no longer feels like a resting place.
We buy a new car because we think we need the space.
Sure, change is good, but not if it's the outcome of sacrificing our well-being. I am still unsure how the couple last night made it work in that environment for so long, but they did. I'm happy to see them happy, but I'm sure there's a big part of them that wishes they unpacked that suitcase 16 years ago, or in this case, committed to finishing the job.
"Youth has no age." (Pablo Picasso)
Today is my birthday. One of those days every year that you feel connected to while to everyone else, it's just another day. I don't know about you, but lately, it's creeped up on me.
I spent this past Sunday at Jacob Riis Park beach with Dana and a friend. We spent a good deal of time talking about our grandparents, but more specifically, getting older. Uplifting, I know.
I drove home thinking about my Mom-Mom & Pop-Pop. For as long as I can remember, they never acted their age. Despite their bodies growing older, their minds remained sharp and full of wonder. At 92 years old, my Mom-Mom is an avid texter, sending me messages like this one I received today:
Not to mention that she can still hang, even if that means roasting marshmallows until the wee hours of the morning.
Looking ahead to my future, it's this youthful spirit I hope to embody at 92 and beyond.
I'll leave you with this video of Dick Van Dyke doing crunches at age 95. I'll take his youthful mind and body, too.
Both of my parents recently replied to one of my newsletters with thoughts and feedback. It may sound odd, but it's a small gesture that goes a long way. Here's why:
Newsletters & Engagement: Having spent many years performing, I'm still getting used to the feeling of developing an idea and putting it out there without ever knowing if you'll receive feedback. You learn to let it go because otherwise, you'd drive yourself crazy thinking about what others think. There may be a mailing list full of people, but there's no obligation for them to engage. When you're on stage, there's an energy in the room you can feel. Not with newsletters. You have no idea how you're doing. Any engagement means the world, especially when it comes from my parents.
Connecting with Parents: A few years ago, I would have told you that I wasn't sure my parents understood what I did for a living. Pretty sure I'm not alone on this! Writing about my personal and professional journey has allowed me to connect with my parents in new ways. Not only do they better understand what I do, but now, we can engage in deeper conversations around topics that interest us both, whether in person or over email.
Making the time to prepare my newsletter on a busy weekend like this past one can be challenging, but once I hit send, I never regret it. Thanks, Mom & Dad, for the increased momentum this week.
"The more you ritualize the beginning of a process, the more likely it becomes that you can slip into the state of deep focus that is required to do great things." (James Clear, Atomic Habits)
We love to go at full speed, flying through life, switching from one thing to the next. When we get stuck, we get frustrated with ourselves. We call it a creative block. We may even give up for a while or seek out new sources of inspiration. The harder we push, the less enjoyable it is to create.
Maybe it's as simple as slowing down and taking those familiar steps, much like getting a good night's sleep. "Sleep is a quiet, relaxing activity, so it doesn't make much sense to try to transition to that directly from something that is quite the opposite. Our bodies don't do well with abrupt changes. Quiet sleep rituals help ease this transition, preparing us mentally and physically for sleep." (Bedtime Routines and Sleep Rituals for Restful Sleep)
When it comes to the creative process, a ritual can be defined however you see fit. Maybe it's a desk only used for one activity, a lighting setup, a type of music, or all of the above. For author Seth Godin, it's all about getting into uniform.
"There's a whole bunch of obligations that go with being a professional that put you on the hook. And for years I've had uniforms at work. I don't usually wear them in public. They change from time to time. The beginning was a lab coat. Lately, I've just been trying the Japanese volunteer fireman hoppy coat because when you put on the uniform, you've just sent yourself a message to your work at your workspace. Do it at the appointed hours. Never, ever miss a deadline." (The Knowledge Project #105: Failing On Our Way to Mastery)
While I have yet to define any distinct rituals for my creative endeavors, I am curious to give it a try, especially after a hectic week where writing hasn't come easy.
"Anxiety is caused by a lack of control, organization, preparation, and action." (David Allen, Getting Things Done)
Complaints are caused by a lack of clarity, empathy, communication, and context.
Anxiety enjoys a good complaint's company.
Ever hear an unfamiliar term come up in conversation? Instead of asking for clarification, you ignore it. Naturally, everyone around you assumes you know. Weeks later, you are in a meeting with a client when they ask you a question. You panic - that unfamiliar term is coming back to haunt you. You respond, but you stumble. You have no idea what they are asking you. What comes out might as well be gibberish. Your words hang in the room for what feels like hours when suddenly, a colleague breaks the silence.
I am no believer in fake it till you make it. Even if you think you made it (whatever that means), at some point, you run out of steam, with no bank of knowledge to draw on and keep going.
You might be thinking, Lucas - sometimes you need to fake it to learn. Sure - we have to explore the unknown to fill in the gaps, uncover new ideas. That is not faking it. Faking it means you are pretending to know when you have no idea. Faking it means you are afraid to look dumb, so you shy away from asking questions.
Here is the thing - no matter how much we know, there will always be something we have yet to discover. When we fake it, we stop being curious. We stop learning. We stop getting better. We plateau.
"If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters — don’t wish to seem knowledgeable." (Epictetus)
A teammate once gave me feedback that when I say "to [insert name]'s point" in group settings, they feel validated. So, when I don't say this, they worry that I'm not on board with their approach or idea.
I had never thought about my use of this phrase or how it might impact others. Our words carry weight, sometimes more than we realize.
We'll likely say something today that we'll disagree with years from now and may have never considered years ago.
I used to worry about this when I first started writing publicly. I thought that if I contradicted myself somewhere along the line, people might call me a hypocrite.
I no longer let myself get hung up on this train of thought. If we are hungry for knowledge and information, our beliefs are bound to change. From that perspective, contradiction can actually be a symbol of growth.
Sharing our ideas and engaging others in them is one way to put our growth in hyperdrive. It not only requires us to articulate our thoughts, but it invites feedback, helping us see the world from a new vantage point.
It's better to have an idea, shape it, share it, learn from it, and evolve it than to never let it out of your mind.
Starting to see that our ability to make progress and build momentum has less to do with time management or prioritization and more to do with how connected we feel to our vision and how courageous we feel to take the first step, no matter how imperfect it may be.
If you walked one mile per day for one year, you could walk the entire length of Pennsylvania (~170 miles) and back. Then, spend the last 25 days or so walking a marathon (26.2 miles).
Just another way of saying that small steps add up, but taking no steps gets you nowhere.
What good is a lamp without power?
It doesn't matter how bright it can shine if it can't shine.
Like a lamp, we all need an outlet for power, an outlet to light us up.
An outlet to experiment.
An outlet to share ideas.
An outlet to learn from others.
An outlet to express ourselves.
An outlet to think.
Unlike a lamp, our outlets can come in many forms.
A group of peers.
We'll never know just how bright we can shine if we can't shine.
We all need a power outlet.
I need a vacation.
I used to say this if I was feeling inundated with to-dos and responsibilities. It seemed like escaping for a while would give me the relief I needed.
The thing is that even after weeks away, it only took a moment for all of the weight to return. Commitments are still commitments. Issues are still issues. So, what was the point? Temporary peace?
These days, I do my best to stop saying I need a vacation and start asking, why? What needs to change? I'd rather live a life that I don't need to escape every now and then.
Vacation should be a time for re's. Relax, reset, reimagine, rejuvenate. Not running.
Today's newsletter is about the power of letting go as a manager and trusting the team to succeed with your guidance and support. As I made my final newsletter edits and prepared for the day, I learned about a hiccup on a recent project.
Every bone in my body was ready to put all of my other priorities aside to jump in and try to make it right. Luckily, with the topic of my newsletter top of mind, I paused and thought instead. How could I help the team get this on track without doing it myself?
By the end of the day, we had a plan in place. One that didn't involve me getting in the weeds. I lost some time in the day, but I know the time spent now will pay off in spades down the line.
"Through thick or thin, in spite of the hundreds of things calling for your attention every day, never forget what you’re ultimately here to do: help your team achieve great outcomes." (Julie Zhuo, The Making of a Manager)
It's one thing to write about and reflect on concepts. It's another to apply them. Today was a welcome reminder to take my own advice. Also, to never stop revisiting, questioning, and evolving old ideas.
I loved this Gretchen Rubin quote featured in James Clear's newsletter this week:
There's so much power in this simple shift in mindset. I can think of one too many times when something didn't go as planned, and I let it bring me down, shaping my mood for the rest of the day. A distraught client, a miscommunication between employees, you know the drill. The thing is that when I let these experiences have a negative impact, it makes it harder for me to show up fully and turn them around.
I've learned to remind myself that nothing is the end of the world, but I love the idea of replacing "I'm having a bad day" with "I had a bad quarter" and taking steps to make the next quarter incredible.
I don't get much natural light in my current apartment, so when we first started working from home last year, I joked that I was working in a dungeon. It was funny, but I didn't love looking like I was in the dark all the time, especially when interacting with clients or new acquaintances.
I eventually found a lighting kit that brightened things up, but the clarity was still awful. Side note: I'm still amazed that even the latest Macbook Pro camera looks like we're in the early 2000s.
Anyway, everything changed when fellow Barrel partner Peter told me about Camo Studio via a mutual friend, Hum. Camo Studio allows you to use your iPhone as a camera (I have an iPhone 11 Pro Max), and the results are insane.
Here's a before and after (with the same lighting):
The comments after I started using Camo Studio ranged from "Whoa, your eyes are blue!?" to "Wait, why does it look like you're a YouTube influencer?" That was months ago now, but the comments haven't stopped.
To make it easier to use my phone, I revisited my setup. Here's a look at my desktop:
The more I meet new people (or catch up with friends and peers), the more I get asked about my setup, so I figured I'd list it here for easy reference. I figure that for every person who asks me, there's at least one other person out there looking to upgrade their video call appearance.
Below is a breakdown:
Happy video calls!
Dayton is an Art Director at a 25-person marketing agency. He's only a year in, but he loves his job. Great team, great clients. He's happy.
One day he happens to see a Slack message from a co-worker, Jessica, at 7:52 pm. He doesn't have much going on, so he responds. A few minutes later, Jessica writes back.
Now it's 9:43 pm... 11:57 pm... Dayton realizes that he hasn't eaten dinner yet, let alone shower, read... Midnight comes and goes. 12:31 am...
Now it's 1:27 am, six hours since his response to Jessica. "Okay, I agree. Any other ideas on how we could push it further?"
Dayton eats a bowl of corn flakes before his head hits the pillow. He grabs some mouthwash and thinks, I can brush my teeth tomorrow.
The sun comes up, and he is exhausted, staying in bed as long as possible, squeezing every bit of sleep out of the morning. He can still taste remnants of what used to be his favorite cereal. He brushes his teeth but skips the rest of his everyday morning ritual before jumping on Zoom for his 10 am.
By lunchtime, Dayon wonders how two hours could feel like two decades. Despite making it through the next two meetings, it's hard for Dayton to focus. He cancels the team meeting he'd been prepping for, afraid he won't be able to deliver as planned.
Dayton ends the day feeling bummed. He's supposed to meet a friend for dinner but can't imagine being social. He cancels that, too.
A week later, Dayton responds to another message. This time at 9:15 pm. The cycle repeats. He starts to question if this job is the right job for him. Dayton confides in his manager, Tamara.
Tamara asks Dayton about the reason for the urgent requests, confused why she wasn't aware. Dayton is silent, unable to answer.
The thing is that nothing was urgent. Just because you happen to see a message at 7:52 pm or 9:15 pm doesn't mean you have to respond.
Most things can wait until morning.
On Wednesday, February 24, I decided to start publishing here every Monday through Friday. I had all these ideas floating around in my head. I was looking for a way to explore them further and get feedback. I also wanted to continue strengthening my writing, and what better way to practice than getting reps in nearly every day?
What I've loved about the practice is that I never know where it will take me. I don't pre-plan topics. I have a Notion board of half-baked ideas, phrases, and stories. I add new ones whenever they come into focus - brushing my teeth, at the grocery store, out for a walk, doesn't matter.
When I sit down to write, I review the Notion hub of captured thoughts and dive into whichever resonates. If none do, I start from scratch. Some days, I end up piecing together fragments from my past. Other days, I write to spend more time with a topic or find clarity.
I named these daily writings "notes" to feel informal, almost like opening someone's notebook. Not precious. No pressure to get it perfect. A simple sentence or two, an 850-word story - whatever feels good. I give myself the evening to draft, edit, and publish. I'll admit, I've done the occasional morning edit while getting ready for the day, but it's rare.
This post marks 75 notes. There's no real milestone here, but the way I see it, that's 75 stories that I may have never told if I didn't embark on this project. Thoughts are fleeting, and if you don't capture them, who knows if you'll get another chance.
Every note includes a simple illustration. I wasn't sure if I was creating too much work for myself when I started, but I've enjoyed the play. It's also nice to keep my creative process in check. I take no more than 10-15 minutes to turn an often abstract concept into a vague visual idea, then quickly polish it into something worth sharing. It was never about the single illustrations, though. I was most excited to see what they would all look like together down the line. Here's all 75 so far:
It's cool to see how certain notes have resonated with friends, family, co-workers, peers, and strangers alike. Thanks to those who are following along.
Below are some of my favorite notes in common categories. Enjoy.
Company Culture / Agency Leadership
Okay, maybe there are dumb questions.
Questions asked because you were not paying attention.
Questions asked about topics your job requires you to know.
Questions asked because you are too lazy to look up the answer on your own.
But even then, are they really dumb?
Stupid is another word for dumb. Just as lovely as it is for you to read as it is to write, but it's true. The definition for stupid is having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense. I guess that means that a dumb question shows a lack of intelligence. But is that not the point of a question? To fill our gaps in knowledge, to be less dumb? Even if you should have listened, or you should know, the fact is, there's a gap.
Does that make all questions dumb questions?
As easy as it might be to give detailed instructions when reviewing an employee's work, I've learned to focus on the underlying concepts. Teaching concepts will always take more effort, but it's an investment. When the employee understand the concepts, they can apply them everywhere, feeling confident to own the work. When they merely follow instructions, they will always need them to keep going.
Try eating spaghetti without utensils. You can do it, but it will be messy and stressful.
There are tools and frameworks for every project. You don't need them to get the job done, but at the least, they'll keep the sauce off your hands and maybe even free you up to enjoy a glass of wine.
A couple of months ago, I caught up with a friend who has deep expertise doing branding and graphic design work for restaurants. I mentioned how shocked I was to see new restaurants popping up in my neighborhood last year while many were closing due to the pandemic and asked for her perspective.
She explained that restaurants don't pop up; there are months of planning, sometimes years, before opening their doors to the public. She went on to describe the typical restaurant development process. Of course, I thought, that makes sense, feeling a little silly for thinking otherwise.
It's okay to assume. Just assume there's more to the story, and you'll learn a whole lot more.
Today, we toast to 15 years.
It’s been a blast to spend the last 8 alongside these guys. I’m proud of how we’ve grown as a team and as individuals, but, most of all, I’m proud of our continued dedication to getting better every day and creating an agency that believes success starts with developing its people. Big thanks to our team, clients, friends, family, and alumni. We have come so far, but it feels like we’re just getting started! Happy 15, Barrel. Let’s do this.
To honor the occasion, we created a virtual trip back in time. Experience some of the websites that shaped who we are today: www.barrelny.com/15
Always good to remember that we can make excuses to do or not do anything.
In 2015, my wife Dana and I ended our lease early, not by choice. Our apartment became infested with mice, and the landlord chose not to address the issue. Instead, informing us that we had until the end of our lease term to vacate.
We were new to Park Slope, Brooklyn, and fell in love with the area and our apartment. It was perfect. So perfect that we gave in and paid a fat broker fee to get it. To say this was a bummer is an understatement.
In the months that followed our landlord's notice, we tirelessly searched for an equivalent place to call home with the same rent. Brokers looked at us like we were crazy. They kindly suggested it was an impossible feat.
At one point, we were eating, sleeping, and breathing apartment listings. It was tough. Soon any time we came across a halfway decent apartment, Dana would look at me with this face that said, let's take this one. But as tired and beat down as we were, we didn't give in.
Weeks before our lease was up, Craiglist notified Dana about an apartment right down the street. Cheaper rent (stabilized!), backyard, garden box, what? Could this be it? We jumped on it.
Despite six other interested renters, we got the place. Funny enough, as we were signing the lease, we learned that our landlord went to school with Peter and Sei-Wook, Barrel's co-founders. Small world or fate? Who knows, but from then on, I had this renewed faith that the best things in life are possible; it just takes persistence, patience, and perseverance.
Years later, I got down on one knee at Brooklyn Botanic Garden, and Dana and I were engaged. After roughly three months, we came down off cloud nine and began wedding planning, then reality set in. My uncle-in-law, Father Fran, is a priest. For as long as my wife Dana can remember, she pictured him marrying her someday. The challenge was that Dana and I wanted to get married outside the church, a no-no for most Catholic dioceses.
Everyone kept telling me it was impossible, but I refused to accept that. I kept thinking of our sweet, brick-lined Park Slope apartment and the journey to finding it. In all of Fran's years as a priest, he had never seen or done what we were asking. I thought, hey, there's a first for everything.
After several phone calls and a letter to the chancellor, our wish came true. With hundreds of nearly identical weddings under his belt, Uncle Fran got a taste of something new, a non-church Catholic wedding ceremony. It was magical.
Since then, my belief and determination have only grown stronger, resisting the notion that anything is impossible, even if everyone around me is ready to give up. Among family, I often say, "If Fran can marry us outside the church, anything is possible."
If you believe something is impossible and you act like it, it will be. Once you decide that it's possible, the future is yours to create.
If there seems to be too much to do in too little time, it is time to slow down, especially when delegating work. When I have lost sight of this in the past, it has never felt good.
Acting under unnecessary pressure, I would default to giving quick tactical feedback, thinking that was what I needed to do to keep my team going. The trouble was that I did not stop to articulate a vision for myself or the team. So, if the team hit a bump in the road, there was no north star to guide them, resulting in rework, delays, and tension.
Picture a person walking around in a new city, they do not know where they are going, but they have a list of directions. All is well until they hit a road closure, and in an instant, all progress comes to a halt. If only they had a destination, maybe they could find their way.
Take the time to articulate your vision, especially when it feels like there is no time at all.
When I worked in an office, I used to carry a notebook around to take notes and sketch during meetings. Once I worked from home, I started taking notes on my computer, so I no longer needed a notebook. And so, no more doodles.
The other day, I grabbed a piece of paper to write down a phone number and ended up doodling on it throughout the day. I had forgotten how much it encouraged deep listening and focus for me.
Nowadays, it can be hard not to multi-task during Zoom calls with all your work right in front of you. To keep my hands occupied, I've been rotating between a hand grip strengthener and a fidget spinner from my younger brother, Justin. These have been helpful, but there's something about doodling that does the trick.
After an in-depth interview process, we recently extended an offer to an exciting candidate. Last night, I found out they decided to accept another offer. At first, it stung a little. I thought they would make a great addition to the team and play an integral part in our growth as an agency. Just yesterday morning, they seemed enthusiastic about what we could create together.
While they chose a different path, they shared how invigorating our conversations about the future were and wished they could "work for two companies at once." I'm still waiting for clarity on what led to their decision, but it felt good knowing that I put my best foot forward. I remembered past experiences where a situation like this would have left me feeling discouraged, but last night, I felt hopeful.
The truth is, this wasn't the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last. I've learned to accept that not everything can work out as planned, and anchoring our satisfaction on the win is a dark path to follow. Even if it feels like a done deal like it did with this candidate.
If you live for the win and you're not winning all the time, which is true of most humans, then you'd be living a pretty unhappy life. Winning isn't always what it's cracked up to be either. There's the bliss when it hits where it feels like you're floating, then moments later, you return to Earth and continue with the next steps.
You land a big project; then, you work on an approach to get it done with the new timeline. You hire an impressive new employee; then, you onboard them and start regular check-ins.
I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate the wins, but we cannot control the game. So, it's not worth letting the outcome dictate your wellbeing. What we can control is how well we play.
Maybe it's cliché, but for me, it's about giving it your best shot. I aim to leave every outcome feeling like I've done everything in my power to get the best result. Then, win or lose, I take it as an opportunity to keep on raising the bar by learning why it went the way it did.
Even if the candidate did accept our offer, understanding why they did could help attract and land future candidates. In this case, they seemed excited, but in the end, something changed their mind. As I continue to interview candidates, it will be helpful to know if there's anything I can do better next time.
I look forward to hearing back from the candidate with more insight, but in the meantime, as the Barrel partners and I like to say, keep it going.
When a friend, family member, or colleague is looking for feedback or guidance, trade don't sweat the small stuff for curiosity. If something is weighing them down, turning a blind eye will not only be a challenge but can lead to future distress. The "small stuff" is often what matters most.
There are six steps I follow for every creative project. Sometimes, formally. Other times, I run through them in my mind or create quick sketches. Either way, if I try to cut corners, I always regret it later.
I liken the process to building a house.
It's not too different from building a website.
Whether it's houses, websites, or something else, once you master the steps, even the most complicated projects can feel within reach.
Disagreements can be frustrating. If I ever feel this way, I think about what it would be like if we agreed with each other all the time.
We would never see new points of view.
We would never improve our approach.
We would never get better.
Life would be stagnant. Not a life that I want to live.
"Randall Stutman, who for decades has been the behind-the-scenes advisor for many of the biggest CEOs and leaders on Wall Street, once studied how several hundred senior executives of major corporations recharged in their downtime. The answers were things like sailing, long-distance cycling, listening quietly to classical music, scuba diving, riding motorcycles, and fly-fishing. All these activities, he noticed, had one thing in common: an absence of voices. These were people with busy, collaborative professions. People who made countless high-stakes decisions in the course of a day. But a couple hours without chatter, without other people in their ear, where they could simply think (or not think), they could recharge and find peace. They could be still—even if they were moving. They could finally hear, even if over the sounds of a roaring river or the music of Vivaldi." (Stillness is the Key, Ryan Holiday)
A few years ago, Dana and I took a trip to the Catskills with our friends to go snowboarding. It only was my second time on a board, so I couldn't wait to get out on the slopes. I grew up skateboarding, and to my delight, my experience translated. We had a blast.
I'll never forget the feeling of rejuvenation when I returned to work. At first, I couldn't figure it out. The trip was only three or four days, not a month. It was also physically taxing, and yet, I wasn't exhausted. I felt energized. I wondered what it would take to tap into this regularly since I wouldn't be snowboarding all year long.
All day I thought about the long weekend away, and it became clear. Snowboarding is not an activity for zoning out or getting distracted, especially for newbies like me. It required my full attention. Despite the fast-paced nature of the sport, everything around me became silent. In that way, it was more like meditation.
This trip forever changed my perspective on finding balance. Not long after, I took up powerlifting. Four or five times per week, I was able to find the same equilibrium. No matter what happened during the day, it helped me refocus, recharge, and start the next day at 100%. I'm not back in the gym yet, but I still follow a tight workout schedule to keep this practice alive.
It might sound counterproductive, but for me, throwing myself into something challenging, physically and mentally, is the best way to get lifted.
We say yes, yes, yes. To ourselves and others.
Once we get started, we view everything as one big task and think, "this is impossible." Each day, we jump in without focus, bouncing between our obligations. No matter how hard we work, it feels like nothing is getting done.
We can't sleep. We can't eat. Soon, we feel drained. Progress becomes physically impossible. We think, "I need a vacation."
We have no energy to plan a trip, so we stay home. All that matters is we escape our reality for a while.
A week later, our staycation is over. We start the day, read through emails, and check in on what needs to get done. We think, "this is impossible."
Most things can wait. Start with the few that can't.
I wrote the last entry in my first journal today. I started it on December 1 and have logged 167 consecutive entries.
For too long, I thought about journaling but never took the first step. I found every excuse to put it off. When will I write? What will I write? Is it worth the time? When you're writing to yourself, it's not about what you say or how you say it. My journal entry from December 1 is vastly different than the one I wrote today. Who cares?
There's nothing more valuable than the quiet time every morning organizing my thoughts and the fact that I now have a book that captures the last 167 days of my life. After I finished writing, I highlighted the key themes at the front of the book: COVID, meeting my newborn niece, getting vaccinated, looking for a new home, and becoming CXO. I'll enjoy reading these entries someday.
On to journal #2.
Before every session, Seth, my executive coach, asks me: what's your energy heading into our call today? I have come to appreciate the power of this simple energy check.
There are several reasons why we may not be ready to give a conversation our full attention. Sometimes, we're not aware of those reasons; other times, we're afraid of being judged, so we try to hide what's on our minds. When we're unable to engage like we know we should, people notice. Unfortunately, this is often left unsaid, and everyone leaves the situation with their interpretation of our commitment.
I can remember sessions where I felt drained from an intense meeting or tired from a poor night of sleep. Normally I'd power through and do my best to concentrate. Instead, by checking in on my energy, I can address these feelings. It is no longer a battle to stay focused. I can release the weight, creating space to be present. Then, tap into the energy needed to become who I want to be in that moment.
I end most days with so many tabs open in my browser window that all I can see are favicons. In the past, I'd avoid closing the ones that I might need to reference later. These would quickly add up, and eventually, I'd feel like I was back on my childhood Compaq Presario computer, nearly falling asleep as I waited for Photoshop to open.
A few years back, I discovered the OneTab extension. It has become essential to my workflow. In a click, it consolidates open tabs into one where it lists all links in a group with the date and time added. These tabs can later be restored individually or in groups.
Hoarding tabs doesn't have to slow you down!
Every morning in middle school, our principal, Mr. Hershman, would get on the loudspeaker to make announcements for the day. We had a school mascot, but I'd argue that he was the real symbol of school spirit. He had an unforgettable face, further accentuated by his oversized wire-framed glasses (this look was not back in style yet). His energy was admirable.
I am sure there were days where Mr. H woke up with a stomachache or spilled coffee on his desk, but that never got in the way. He always gave us 110%. My favorite part of his briefing was the closing statement, "HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!" A catchphrase that you'd often hear through the halls of Tamanend Middle School among students and staff alike.
The whole repertoire was pretty brave. Announcements began when school started at 7:30 am. It had been less than an hour since most of us had gotten out of bed. We were nowhere near Mr. H's level, and yet, we couldn't help crack a smile. Whether we wanted to admit it or not, we looked forward to hearing his cheerful, cartoon-like voice as we started our day.
As a manager, I have learned that when the room is feeling dull, you have options. You can assume the energy of your crowd then later complain about how it felt. Or, you can bring your Mr. H game.
Pick an object around you. Look at it for 30 seconds. What do you notice?
Now, stand up and move to either side of the object. Look for 30 more seconds. What do you see now?
Go back to where you started. 30 more seconds. What do you see now that you did not before?
Whether or not you do this exercise, you might imagine that you will notice something new each time.
Changing perspective opens our eyes.
Sometimes, it can be hard to see new possibilities. We become hyper-focused on our view and never stand up to take a different look. Maybe we are feeling lazy or stubborn, convinced that we have it figured out. In either case, being told that we need to stand will only push us further in our seats. So, what happens when everyone is comfortable sitting down?
It is not worth our energy to try forcing anyone to stand up and sit beside us. Instead, we can get curious. Ask questions. Why are they so content? What do they see from their view?
The more we ask, the more everyone learns, the more engaged we become. Soon, we are all standing, looking around, and together, we can find a way forward.
Early on in the pandemic, I remember being nervous that exercising in my apartment would disturb the downstairs neighbors. Instead of simply texting them and asking, I stacked yoga mats, modified workouts, and did whatever I could to dampen the sound. Burpees are just not the same when you're worried about how hard your hitting the floor.
One day while heading out for a walk, we ran into each other. I mentioned my workouts and asked if it was bothering them. Their response:
"We rarely hear it, and when we do, we actually like it. It's a good reminder to be active. We end up working out or going out for a walk."
The discomfort created by assumptions outweighs any temporary discomfort felt when removing them. The sooner, the better.
"We did that before, and it failed."
When did you do it?
What were you hoping to achieve?
Were you working with the same people?
Had you done it once already?
Did you know what you know now?
One day, a manager notices a new employee excelling in a specific area of their work. They praise them privately. "Nice work! You're killing it."
For simplicity, let's call this employee Taylor. They turned their design into a motion prototype, and the work is outstanding.
Over the next few weeks, the manager notices a pattern. Taylor's motion prototypes seem to be getting better and better. At this point, they begin praising them in public. "Big props to Taylor! You are an absolute motion master."
Now, whenever there is a motion need, everyone goes to Taylor. Within a matter of months, Taylor spends most of their time working on motion projects.
Last quarter, Taylor watched a few motion tutorials on YouTube. She wanted to bring a design idea to life and thought motion could help. She enjoyed it, but her passion is in design, nor does she consider herself a motion expert.
The more people ask for help, the more complex the requests get. The pressure builds. Most weeks, Taylor puts in late nights to grow her motion skills.
She musters up the courage to let her manager know about the extra hours. Her manager revisits staffing and gets her help with her design projects, so she has more time to work on motion.
A year goes by.
Taylor is home visiting friends from design school. She took an entire week off. Lately, her workdays seem to go on forever. The only way she can think to recharge is to get away.
Her former classmates share all the projects they have been working on at their respective jobs. Taylor scrolls through endless MP4s of motion studies.
Taylor realizes she is now a motion expert.
She returns to work the following Monday and puts in her notice.
No one asked Taylor if she enjoyed working with motion.
Ten years ago today, it was a Thursday.
It had been a week or so since I wrapped my first semester as a TA (Teaching Assistant) at Tyler School of Art, my soon-to-be alma mater.
As the evening set in, I got prepared to celebrate Cinco de Mayo at one of "my" student's apartments. I did not know this night would live on for years to come.
Months prior, this student had requested me on Facebook. I let it linger. See, from day one, I knew that there was positive energy between us. I remember walking in the classroom on my first day as TA. There she was with short blonde hair, wearing a Temple U sweatshirt. I couldn't place what it was about her, but our eyes were like magnets.
I was serious about my new TA position, so I chose to ignore our connection for the entire semester. This evening's festivities would be a big step.
I got on my bike and made my way to a nearby bodega for refreshments. 40 oz beers were the budget-friendly drink of choice. I sprung for Miller High Life, one for me, one for her, and set out for the party.
I'll never forget the bottles in their bags swinging from my handlebars. I did my best to stay balanced while dodging potholes in the dark on the neglected North Philly streets. I wondered if this was what it was like to audition for an act at Ringling Bros.
When I arrived, the look on her face was priceless. What I didn't know was that nearly all of her friends were awaiting my arrival. She had been telling them about our apparent connection for months. No one fully believed her, but they all had some expectation of who this TA character might be. Now, there I was, standing on her doorstep. No longer a TA, just a guy, eager to see a girl, refreshments in hand.
You may have caught on by now, but that student is now my wife, Dana. We made some great memories that night.
I chose to share this story today because, for about a decade now, I return to it every year on May 5, and I laugh. I hope it brought a smile to your face, even just the slightest.
"What we need in life, in the arts, in sports, is to loosen up, to become flexible, to get to a place where there is nothing in our way—including our own obsession with certain outcomes." (Stillness is the Key, Ryan Holiday)
During childhood and young adulthood, I had a vision for my future. There were outcomes I was after, and each step was part of a plan to get there. According to my mother, at about age five or six, I hoped to own a station wagon and have seven kids. Don't ask. I have no idea. As I grew up, my vision evolved; touring full-time as a musician, teaching high school art, owning a design studio with my wife, Dana.
Here I am, years later, and in terms of a career, none of these have come true. Am I any less happy with my path? No.
In May 2017, just four years ago, I was offered the partner role at Barrel. It was a pivotal moment in my career. In my mind, I had a choice. Either I seize the opportunity in front of me. Or, I give it all up to go after my vision of opening a design studio purely because it had always been my plan. I knew that if I went after the former while aspiring to do the latter, I'd give neither the attention they deserved.
As I deliberated over my decision, I realized that I was no longer chasing an outcome. I was enjoying the ride. My path at Barrel was not one I would have predicted. I came in every day focused on doing my best and welcomed every new opportunity with open arms. It was invigorating, and the challenge of becoming a partner was no different. Why walk away?
This experience forever changed my outlook. We cannot predict what life will throw our way. If we get too attached to our plan or outcomes, we risk missing the possibilities right in front of us.
My future is no longer about a specific outcome or plan. Instead, I'm focused on creating a future I want to live in, at work and at home. I have learned to be flexible in how I get there, and what I value most is feeling good along the way.
We love to say we have no time, myself included. We act as if everyone else is working with a 24+ hour day.
Then, out of nowhere...
All of these situations throw off our day, but we make it work.
In truth, we know that we are all working with a 24-hour day. The difference is in how we use it. When we say we have no time, what we are really saying is that we have decided that another commitment is more important.
Emergencies help us see where our real priorities lie.
Every morning I wake up, grab my journal from under the bed, turn to one side, and begin writing. I always wonder if my wife Dana is curious about what I am writing. I know I would be.
Out of the blue last Saturday morning, with 144 consecutive journal entries logged, Dana asked me if I would read one for her. My suspicion was correct, but it still caught me off guard. Initially, I was hesitant to oblige. The writing in my journal was not for an audience, but hey, I had nothing to hide.
I read Dana an entry from March. It was the first time since I began journaling that I turned back the pages. It was fascinating to read aloud what was on my mind even just a month ago. In the end, I am grateful for Dana's interest; it was a welcome reminder of why I started journaling in the first place.
While I write in my journal to reflect on the previous day and acknowledge how I feel heading into the next one, I see it as a long-term initiative. Years from now, I love the idea that I can tap into my former thoughts, motivations, and challenges. What was going on in my life? What has changed? In what ways have I grown?
Today, when I stumble upon old photos, I wonder what was on my mind. On any ordinary day, and during pivotal high and low moments in my life. Some good memories that come to mind are performing original music for the first time at my 8th grade talent show, winning Amateur Night at the Apollo, landing my first job in New York City, my first date with Dana then proposing/getting married.
Although I may not be able to revisit these past moments in the way that I would like, I look forward to capturing all that the future has to offer.
I have adjusted the structure of my journal entries a few times since I started. At the moment, here is what it looks like:
Day, Date, Time, Location
Yesterday was [sum up the day in a few words].
I created TFWEG as an easy, repeatable way to recognize my general sentiment going into the new day.
Time blocking up front is actually easy. Just go to your calendar and do it. The real challenge is to honor the system by protecting the time you’ve set aside and utilizing it with absolute focus in the face of the inevitable barrage of false priorities and interruptions that appear each day. (The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, Gary Keller, Jay Papasan, Dave Jenks)
I vaguely remember when I first started time blocking my calendar. I was transitioning from solely designing to overseeing other projects. More projects meant more meetings. At times, it was challenging to make progress on my work.
In theory, scheduling work blocks on my calendar provided the space I needed in my day. In practice, it was not that simple.
Interruptions, double-booking, questions - you name it. There were all sorts of reasons why it became a challenge to honor the time blocks I put in place. I had fooled myself into thinking that time blocking was a turnkey solution to improving productivity.
While I continued time blocking my calendar, I shifted my focus to creating a more robust system for task management and started questioning where I could be most valuable. As I continued on the path from designer to director, this shift proved to be invaluable.
I have been on a productivity optimization quest for years, and in my mind, it is a lifelong pursuit. Here are a few of the lessons I have learned along the way.
Question every meeting. Why were you invited? What is the team expecting from you? If you are unsure, ask. Will you provide anything to the discussion that will not otherwise get covered? Note: If you are attending because you do not trust your team to handle it on their own, closing that gap is a priority.
Stop repeating yourself. What topics require repetitive training among the team? Some examples: presentation prep, the structure of deliverables, how to recap a meeting. Take the time to document the fundamentals. Onboard the team, but more importantly, closely train a few employees. In time, they will train other employees, who will train more employees down the line.
Find your value. What unique value do you bring in your role? The answer to this question is where you should spend your time. From time to time, you may need to jump in and help with other tasks. That said, your focus should be on letting go. You do not need to be in the weeds on every single project. Yes. You will always have good insight, but that does not mean the team will fail without it. Give your team the tools to succeed and let them do their thing. The best managers go unseen.
There are two common ways to unclog a drain.
Option 1. Use a snake.
Option 2. Pour in a bottle of Drano.
Both will achieve the desired result. The difference is that while snaking the drain may require more effort, it will expose whatever is causing the blockage.
The quick and easy solution is always tempting, but when you haven't addressed the source of the issue, there's no guarantee it'll stick.
A friend once shared a tip from a dietitian he worked with as a child. They said: don't take another bite until you've finished chewing the last.
Overeating is often associated with eating too fast. Our body can't keep up to let us know we're feeling full.
Ever bite off more than you can chew?
Work and food are the same. There's a certain amount we need to stay energized. When we discover what we enjoy, we crave it. We want more. And more. And more. Until suddenly, we've had too much. Then, the reverse happens, we get tired, sick, unmotivated. We want nothing to do with the work or food that once brought us joy.
Slow down. Experience every moment before taking another bite.
It's been about 14 months since I posted this tweet. I remember writing it just after finishing my routine Saturday workout. Little did I know, I'd start working out at home, in my bare feet, a week later.
I haven't worked out with shoes on since.
We can’t always control changes to our environment.
We can always control how we respond to them.
This evening, Dana and I met up with our friend Andres for dinner at a semi-new pasta joint in our neighborhood. We hadn't seen Andres for over a year.
Despite the increasingly frigid air, we decided to round out our meal with ice cream. It seemed like everyone around us was ordering it, so we joined in. As we took our final spoonfuls, an older man appeared at our table. He announced: "Come see the moon when you finish! I'm right over there." He pointed across the street. We smiled. He nodded, then continued his message down the other tables lining the sidewalk.
I'll admit, my first thoughts were I am freezing, I want to go home and be warm, why is this guy talking to us? Dana, on the other hand, was curious. Her thoughts? "He's a nice man. We should go."
While we waited for the check, we assessed the situation. Across the street was a serious-looking telescope. We watched as the man brought over a waitress, then a couple, then another couple. Maybe there was something to see?
After paying the bill, Dana, Andres, and I stood up from the table, looked at each other over our face masks, and together, declared: "Let's go see what's going on."
The telescope operator's name was Joe. When we walked over, he was chatting with a local couple who, like Joe, lives nearby. He sets his telescope up in spots throughout the neighborhood from time to time and likes to share the experience with others.
Dana, Andres, and I each took turns looking at the moon. With the city sky remarkably clear tonight, the view was incredible. To quote the guy who had a look before me, "It's like I'm staring at the set of Star Wars, except it's real." As I gazed upon the moon's craters, I immediately understood why Joe was out on the street. Seeing the moon with this level of detail is not an experience you want to keep to yourself.
We briefly chatted with Joe and found out that he was collecting emails to let any locals know when he'd be out again. Well, yeah - I wanted to know! I "joined his mailing list" via pen and scrap paper.
It's times like these that remind me why you can't always trust your gut. I'm glad I have Dana to make me think twice sometimes, so I don't miss out on the joy of little moments like tonight.
Cheers to Joe, the moon guy, and the characters of Park Slope.
It only takes a moment to win.
It's the second that your first to cross the finish line. It's the second that you find out you lifted the most weight. It's the second that a client accepts your proposal.
It takes days, months, years to practice.
It's all the work that came before you approach the finish line, pick up the weight, send your proposal.
If we're only happy when we win, we'd have to win constantly to live a happy life. What happens if we don't?
When there's joy in the practice, winning is just a bonus.
When is the best time to promote an employee?
I like to think that there's a sweet spot. The employee has outgrown their current position, but their next role will challenge them in new ways. In the book Atomic Habits, author James Clear highlights a similar concept:
"The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right."
It's a manager's job to guide their employees from role to role by giving them the right opportunities and coaching them along the way.
In that way, the employee needs to have enough exposure to some of the new role's responsibilities and shown they're ready and capable for the challenge. For instance, before promoting a Junior Designer to Designer, they should have opportunities to present their work if that's an expectation of the new role. I'm not suggesting they lead a high-stakes presentation. Instead, maybe they walk through design revisions or take on a portion of a meeting.
Promotions are most successful when the employee feels equipped for the next step, their manager is confident in their ability to take it on, and their co-workers are beginning to see them in the new role.
Related: Building Teams with TLC
During the summer before my senior year of college, I interned at MOCEAN in LA, designing posters and DVD covers for movies and TV shows. While I was there, I took the opportunity to perform anywhere I could and connect with the local music scene, from a lounge on Hollywood Blvd to a company picnic.
While attending my friend Brittany's birthday party, I met Jeffree Star (pre-Jeffree Star Cosmetics). At the time, Jeffree was focused on music.
Weeks later, I ended up performing for a few friends, along with Jeffree. We got to talking about the music industry and my pursuits as a singer/songwriter. Jeffree asked me what I was doing in LA. After hearing about the internship, he offered me advice: "If you want to do music, don’t have a plan B." In other words, no safety net.
In the moment, this was tough to hear. Now, I look back fondly at this memory because of what it taught me. If I wanted to turn music into a viable career option, I'd have to go all in. That meant de-prioritizing my other passion, design. I could continue writing and performing, but I couldn't expect to "make it" without making it a priority. From then on, I decided that if I can't give a pursuit the energy it deserves, I can't expect to make the progress I desire.
In the end, I chose an alternate path. I returned from LA, continued performing and making music, graduated, moved to NYC for a design job, and as they say, the rest is history. Music is still a part of my life, but for now, it's a side project.
Jeffree's advice still resonates today. While a safety net will always be safer, nothing can replace the drive of going after your vision with everything you've got.
At age 95, we’ll have spent 34,675 days on this earth. Of that, roughly 9,880 will have been Saturdays and Sundays. Living for the weekend is no way to live.
Imagine life without a mirror. Or selfie mode. Or a webcam. Etc.
While we might go about our day just fine, we would feel uneasy, having no insight into our appearance. Mirrors give us information about ourselves that we cannot see on our own.
To get more insight, we would have to rely on those around us, asking a spouse, family member, or roommate for their perspective. Hoping to remove as much subjectivity as possible, we would ask pointed questions and provide clear context.
"Is my hair sticking up? I have a cowlick that is so hard to control."
"Does my face look red? Sometimes my face lotion irritates my skin."
"Should I iron this shirt or think I can get away with the wrinkles on Zoom?"
There is no mirror for our interactions at home, at work, and in life. Short of hiring a 24/7 camera crew, we cannot simply look at a mirror and get insight into whether or not we were a good listener when our friend was going through a tough time or if we sounded confident in our team presentation.
Without a mirror, we need feedback.
If we are lucky, we will receive feedback openly from our peers, family, and friends. However, we often have to seek it out.
Like life without a mirror, it is up to us to ask questions. To uncover the perspective that is impossible for us to get on our own.
Sure, we can live without a mirror. And we can live without feedback. But how can we ever expect to be better without seeing the full picture?