The Right Things In Common

Borrowed

“Insecure people think that all reality should be amenable to their paradigms. They have a high need to clone others, to mold them over into their own thinking. They don’t realize that the very strength of the relationship is in having another point of view. Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness. Sameness is uncreative… and boring. The essence of synergy is to value the differences.”

From “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey [Book]

Learned

Dana and I often say we’re glad we have all the right things in common. What we want for our family. How we want our home to feel. What we value in our day-to-day. How we approach our finances. Even something as simple as sharing a meal out without either of us having to make a concession. The things we share have shaped our life together, even as our perspectives have evolved.

We met just over fourteen years ago. Anyone who has been with someone that long knows how many versions of yourself you live through. We have changed in ways we never could have predicted in our early twenties. Careers shift, priorities evolve, interests come and go. What keeps us grounded is what we share, and what keeps us growing are the ways we differ. We read different books, listen to different podcasts, and approach our routines in different ways. I have learned that as those differences help us grow individually, the relationship grows with us.

I was sharing this with a friend who has been in a serious relationship for about a year and is thinking about making a commitment. I told him that life only gets more complex over time, but the balance does not have to. You need enough alignment to build your life on, and enough difference to keep learning and growing. When both are present, you can move forward together without losing who you are becoming along the way.

I have been thinking about this same balance as we grow the team at Barrel. We are stepping into an exciting chapter, and the people we bring on and those already here will shape what it becomes. The most important part is finding people who share the right things in common with us, the values and principles that have defined this company for almost two decades. These shared values foster trust and alignment in how we work together.

Within that alignment, the differences matter just as much. Some have been with us for five, six, even nine years. They have grown with the company, and the company has grown because of them. Others are newer and bring different experiences and perspectives that help us see the work from new angles. When shared values are paired with unique viewpoints, the team gets stronger, ideas get sharper, and the work improves.

Over the years, we have continued to grow our capabilities and refine how we support our clients so we can bring more value to their businesses. Through all of that evolution, what has stayed consistent are the principles that make growth possible. We listen closely. We stay curious. We take the long view. We use setbacks to get smarter. We act with ownership. These shared values create an environment where new ideas and different perspectives are not only welcomed but expected.

My hope is that as we grow as a team, everyone here will also grow as individuals. When people deepen their skills and broaden their perspective, the whole team benefits. The things we share give us stability. The differences help us grow. I have seen this in my own life, and I believe it will fuel what we achieve together.

Thought

Whose perspective could I learn from this week?