Start With Being

Borrowed

“Perhaps it’s time to stop dreaming of a time when you won’t be busy. Because the time will never come. It’s your dream—but it’s also a mirage. … There is a good chance that tomorrow is going to be just as crazy as today. If you want to change anything about yourself, the best time to start is now. Ask yourself, ‘What am I willing to change now?’ Just do that. That’s more than enough. For now.”

From “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith [Book]

Learned

I heard something on a podcast recently that’s been on my mind.

I wish I could remember who said it, but they said something like, “At the end of your life, you meet the person you could’ve been. The goal is to be that person.”

It put into words something I’ve thought about often over the years. A quiet, lifelong journey to close the gap. The decisions I make, how I spend my time, and what I focus on; each of these either moves me toward that version of myself or further away.

Hearing this reminded me of a helpful framework I learned from a coach I was working with years ago called Be. Do. Have.

Most people live the other way around. Once I have the time, more money, the right equipment, then I’ll read more, be more present with family, exercise, do the whatever thing, and become the person I want to be. But that mindset invites a lot of waiting. It delays action in favor of ideal conditions that may never come.

What’s been powerful for me is starting with being.

Who do I want to be?

And if I were already that person, what would I be doing today?

The results tend to follow, not because I’m chasing them, but because they’re the byproduct of consistent alignment between intention and action.

I try to bring the same mindset to how we operate at Barrel. We’re in the middle of hiring for sales and marketing roles. There’s always that pull to take the easy way out and wait, especially when things get chaotic. Once the new hires are in place, we’ll refine our proposals, attend more events, and experiment with how we market ourselves. But that’s just another version of Have. Do. Be.

Instead, nothing is stopping us from making progress now. Tightening our processes. Improving our case studies. Following up with past prospects. Creating momentum so that when new people join, they’re stepping into something with energy behind it, not being asked to build it from scratch.

It’s one thing to learn this concept, and another to live it. For me, applying it is a never-ending work in progress, but one practice that’s been helpful has been constantly learning from people I admire, studying how they work, how they lead, how they live. Business leaders. Athletes. Artists. So on. Not to copy them, but to take the ideas that resonate and give them a try.

Learning may look like reaching out to people and having a, often virtual, chat, listening to an interview, or reading a book. Books have been incredibly impactful. Especially memoirs. Podcasts and interviews are great for quick insight and inspiration, but books go deeper. You get to see the decisions, the missteps, the patterns. Not just the highlight reel, but the process: how people built something meaningful over time and how they handled the parts no one else saw. I find myself paying attention to how they balance work and family, how they carve out time to better themselves, how they lead teams, and how they build company cultures that reflect their values.

One book that’s had me thinking recently is Winning by Tim Grover. I finished it over the weekend. Grover went from making around $3 an hour as a personal trainer at a gym to coaching Michael Jordan in a matter of months, and years later, Kobe Bryant. Read the book for the full story. In it, he writes about how focus, not time, is what separates people who win from those who stay stuck. Grover doesn’t just talk about eliminating distractions. He treats focus as action. Something that sharpens your attention so you can do the work that matters. Not wait. Not overthink. Do.

He describes focus as a muscle. You build it by choosing, over and over again, to act. Not when conditions are perfect, but right now. On the other side, time is also not your friend, and you never know when you’ll run out. The work only gets done if you choose to do it. Focus is not something you earn. It is something you commit to.

Every now and again, someone reaches out early in their career, asking for advice. They’re usually trying to figure out what to prioritize and look for in a job. I usually think back to the start of my own journey before I knew much about frameworks or read books like Winning.

I remember looking for my first job and being hyper-focused on money and benefits. These things felt like safety to me. But that thinking led me to take a job that looked secure and left me miserable. I wasn’t learning. I wasn’t growing.

When I joined Barrel on a freelance contract, it was scary. No benefits and I didn’t know what the future looked like. But I was committed. I didn’t care about titles or salary. I just wanted to be part of the team and contribute. I didn't feel like I was owed anything. I showed up every day focused on doing good work and learning as much as I could.

Over time, this mindset opened doors. I took on more responsibility. I improved my skills and developed new ones. I contributed to process. I stepped into roles that didn't exist yet. But none of it came from fixating on an outcome. It came from doing the work.

It’s the same advice I try to pass along now. Don’t worry about having it all figured out. Don’t wait for the perfect conditions. Focus on putting your best foot forward, learning from setbacks, helping the people around you. That’s where the momentum comes from.

There’s a memory from those early days that still makes me laugh. Before Slack, we used HipChat, and one of our producers, Lee, created a shortcut so that when someone typed the word passion, an image of my face would pop up like an emoji. It became a running joke, but it also made me feel good. I didn’t think I was doing anything special. I just cared and wanted to do my best. It meant a lot to know that people noticed.

That approach still feels true today. What has shifted is how intentional I am about creating a lifestyle that pushes me and supports the future version of myself I’m working toward. I try to keep learning from others, finding the lessons in my successes and failures, and staying committed to the long game. The more I reflect and apply what works, the more I stay connect to the core of it; focusing my energy, doing the work, prioritizing what matters. Trusting that over time, those small decisions add up to real progress. In my own growth, and in building a company I’m proud to be part of.

Thought

If I looked ahead a year from now, what would I be glad I started doing today?