On My Mind This Father's Day

Borrowed

“Dad had a strong moral compass and was always pretty clear about what we kids should and should not do. My father never preached; he practiced. He often quoted the Golden Rule of ‘Do unto others’ and he always insisted on doing the right thing. He was the one who taught me that no opportunity is worth more than your integrity. His motto was ‘Right is right and wrong is wrong.’”

From “Authentic” by Paul Van Doren [Book]

Learned & Thought

We hosted everyone for a Father’s Day meal last night, and all I can think about is how grateful I am to do what I do professionally while being close to family, a notion that felt impossible not long ago.

It’s my second Father’s Day, so I was still a little caught off guard when strangers wished me “Happy Father’s Day" while having breakfast or out walking our dog, Gizmo. But it felt good and left me reflecting on my role as ‘dada’ all day.

The measure of a dad’s impact on his child is impossible to quantify, but it’s unarguably there.

I’ve listened to so many successful men share their stories on podcasts and interviews, and eventually, they get to their fathers. Often, it’s a craving for praise, sometimes just love. You hear it again and again. In memoirs, too. From Walmart’s Sam Walton to Van’s Paul Van Doren to Matthew McConaughey — Dad always leaves a mark.

I feel lucky to have a dad who always supported us in our endeavors. Still today, it’s special to hear my dad say he’s proud of what I’m working on or accomplished. I don’t think that feeling will ever fade, but I’ve only come to appreciate it more as I’ve grown older and stepped into parenthood myself.

Now that I’m a dad, I find myself thinking more about the kind of presence I want to be for Mylo. He’s not yet two, but I already see the small ways I’m shaping his world — the way he mimics me, laughs at my antics, and likes to do things he knows will make me laugh. I know these specific moments won’t last forever, but they’ll show up in new ways as he grows.

I didn’t plan to write about Father’s Day, but with all this on my mind, I thought I’d share some things I’m thinking about this year; it will be fun to revisit for years to come.

1. Presence is about more than being present

Although Mylo is in daycare, I work from home, so I spend a little more time with him than many parents can. I’m grateful for that. But I recently wrote on LinkedIn about the pull to travel for work, feeling like you need to be everywhere, and the tension of wanting to show up professionally while not missing a moment at home. It was comforting to see how many folks feel the same way.

But I’ve noticed that presence isn’t just about being home or putting the phone away. There are evenings where I’ve caught myself sitting with Mylo, phone out of sight. Still, my mind is elsewhere — stuck in a meeting, replaying a conversation, thinking about tomorrow, or whatever I have to get done after he gets to sleep.

I’m trying to catch those moments where I drift and come back. To fully engage in play. I don’t always get it right, but it’s special for both of us when I do.

2. Know your priorities, things can change fast

Just over a week ago, Mylo bumped his face on our wooden stairs as we were getting ready to leave for daycare. There was a lot of blood. His teeth loosened. Suddenly, our quiet morning turned to chaos. He’s been on soft foods since we waited to see if the teeth stabilized (we’ll know on Wednesday!).

In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not a meeting. Not an email. Just Mylo.

I reflect on these moments often. When something serious happens, the decision is clear. But when things feel normal, it’s easy to rationalize skipping the little things. As Mylo gets older, it might be a school performance, a doctor’s appointment, or just time together at the end of a long day.

I want to keep showing up for those things, even when it is inconvenient. Because you don’t get to make those choices twice. And I learn time and time again that most other things can wait.

3. Everything comes with a tradeoff

As a dad, I feel this innate responsibility to provide for my family, keep them safe, and set an example. To live up to that, I know I need to care for myself, physically and mentally. I want to be present and healthy for the long haul.

It’s easy to let work and family become excuses to push my needs aside. But I’ve learned that prioritizing my health isn’t selfish. It’s foundational, so I make it a non-negotiable.

Of course, that comes with tradeoffs. For me, it means waking up just after 5 AM to reflect, exercise, and reset before the day begins. For others, it might look different. I know plenty of Dads who do it all at night. What matters is treating it like something that can’t be skipped. I know I’ll find a way when it’s essential, even as life inevitably makes it more challenging.

4. Raising an adult

In his memoir A Life in Parts, Bryan Cranston writes about parenting with the mindset of raising an adult. I love this idea and have also tried to embody it as a parent.

It doesn’t mean treating Mylo like a grown-up, but it does mean respecting who he’s becoming and teaching him how to be in the world. Not brushing off every challenge with “that’s just what toddlers do,” but trying to model the behavior Dana and I value.

One day, he’ll be someone’s partner, friend, manager, teammate. And I know how we respond to him now plays a part in who he becomes.

5. Don’t let my fears hold him back

Sleep training was when I first saw this clearly. The urge to rush in after a couple of minutes of crying felt natural. Like I was helping. But I realized a lot of it was about soothing myself, trying to end the discomfort.

Thankfully, we stuck with it, and now he’s a great sleeper. But that experience became a lens I’ve carried forward. When he’s upset or facing something new, I ask myself: am I stepping in for him or me?

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Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there navigating fatherhood <3