Finding vs. Creating Joy in the Mundane

Borrowed

“No matter how mundane some action might appear, keep at it long enough and it becomes a contemplative, even meditative act.”

From "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running" by Haruki Murakami [Book]

Learned

The other day I found myself pretending my son Mylo was a rocket ship as I counted down for him to “blast off” and land in his car seat. He doesn’t love getting in it these days, and this little bit of "daddy" theater tends to help ...sometimes.

As he settled in with a laugh, I started thinking about the joy I’m often trying to create in the most mundane little moments. As parents, we do this out of necessity. But what if we brought that same energy to more aspects of life?

Before becoming a parent, I started to notice that whenever life got chaotic or I was experiencing a challenging time, it was the most ordinary parts of my routine I missed the most. Having a quiet cup of coffee. Napping after a Saturday morning workout. And so many with my wife Dana. I began to appreciate those moments more and more.

As young kids started to join our extended family, and I spent more time with my nieces and nephews, that appreciation deepened. Just being around them, I found myself seeing the world in a new way, how excited they’d get over the smallest things, or the curiosity they’d bring to the most routine parts of the day. Watching them reminded me how much wonder there is in everyday life, if I’m willing to see it.

Then Mylo was born, and suddenly, there was joy in just about everything. Holding him while he napped. Lying on the floor watching him discover how to play. Those early days were all about presence, about finding joy in the simplest things.

Now, with Mylo turning two in August, everything’s louder, faster, more opinionated—and a lot more fun. But also more challenging.

And I’ve started to recognize that creating joy is different from finding it.

Finding joy is about being present.

Creating joy is about bringing energy and intention to moments that might otherwise feel like a grind.

With Mylo, it’s choreographing pajama time, doing acrobatics (flipping him over my head and upside down) while dinner finishes in the oven, or knocking on the door and asking "hello??" as we head in for a bath as if someone is inside. Finding little ways to inject play into the everyday and keep him smiling.

But with kids, this kind of behavior is expected. Outside of parenting, it’s easy to forget we still have that option.

There’s always going to be stuff we don’t feel like doing. Except we’re the unhappy kid, and there’s no one around to turn the experience into a game for us. Whether it’s answering a sea of emails, slogging through an RFP, or taking out the trash, we may not naturally find joy in these tasks, but we can create it.

We can bring energy, creativity, and a different attitude. We can change how we experience the moment. And when we do, we’re not only more likely to feel better, we often do better—and bring a bit of light to those around us.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m no expert at this. But recognizing the difference between finding and creating joy has already helped me catch where I could be showing up differently. Not every task has to feel joyful, but I'm there's plenty that worth a try.

Thought

How would today feel different if I created joy on purpose?